Did I handle this conversation okay? Why or why not?
I'm a 20 year old male. I struggle with social anxiety and I want to know if I handled this interaction okay. I was at the mall recently with my father doing some shopping, and I ran into a guy I went to high school with. It's been three years since I've been out of high school. He goes, "What's up Devin." I go "Hey such and such." He then asked "How you been?" I said "Pretty good how about you?" he goes, "Good." My father told me you should've gave him some dap (a bro handshake). Next time when a dude acknowledges you like that give them some dap. You're growing up to be a man. That interaction was kind of awkward.
I didn't find it awkward at all. I was never friends with this person in school. He was kind of a knucklehead and a trouble maker, and I didn't hang out with the guys he hung around. However we were cool and always cordial. That's why I just chose to say what's up to him and really nothing more than that. If it was someone who I really liked or talked to pretty often, then perhaps I would've made more intimate contact.
I mean at least I acknowledged him and didn't ignore him. So I don't see what I did wrong. My father is always very critical on how I interact with people.
I'm trying to get better at social interactions. My father told me I didn't handle this interaction that well. But what do you guys think?
- Anonymous3 years agoFavorite Answer
Just going to say this but your issues are based off your father. as you stated he has been critical most of your life. so you are left doubting yourself left and right.
You did fine you didn't say anything rude, You didn't cause harm to anyone, And the dab is just a thing some people do. it don't mean you half to. frankly i hate it when people touch me. so thank you for keeping personal space.
here is the thing your dad has his way of doing things. for you to not do things his way he has a bit of a peroblem with that. (his problem he needs to fix not you) and you have your way of doing things. I have my way of doing things and every other person on this earth also has their own way of doing things. so there for there is no RIGHT OR WRONG it's all subjective to who your around.
i mean i don't go to a blind man convention and show them colors of the rainbow.
you don't go to an introvert party and go touch everyone and shake their hands man no thanks.
so regardless someone will always have an issue with how you act. and someone won't.
you can't please everyone so start pleasing yourself!
- sparrowLv 73 years ago
I think it sounded okay. Perhaps you're Dad wanted him to be a closer friend whom you would have
given a bro handshake. But since you weren't all that close, then it's fine not to.
- TinaLv 73 years ago
You are not 'growing up to be a man'. You are twenty. You are a man. You handle your social encounters any way you like. Try to avoid situations like shopping with your father (unless he is elderly and needs your help) because it sounds as if what ever you do he will find fault. When he does just say something on the lines of 'Yeah, right dad,' and either change the conversation, or move right away from him.
- 3 years ago
I think a tickle fight would have been more appropriate
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- Anonymous3 years ago
Take it from me, 'struggling with social anxiety' is your problem, because at the end of the day no man gives a sh"t one way or the other. Who cares? No one with testicles, that's for sure.
Be a man and don't care. Do you think the other dude is saying to himself, "Hmm, I hope his feelings are okay, perhaps we should talk about our feelings in a caring understanding non judgemental way" Of course not - he's not thinking about anything other than porn and beer,
And if your father is trying to be your friend just say, "Back of Dad, your being a dick, now leave me alone" He was trying to help, but gotta say, Bor back off, its cool.
- Anonymous3 years ago
You did fine. Not everyone is into all that fist bumping crap and it can seem over-the-top or off-putting when you really aren't close with someone.
- Jael HLLv 53 years ago
I think it wasnt that bad, at least you talked to him instead of ignore him and pretending he doesnt exist. Dont take way personal what your dad uses to tell you acording to be social with ppl, we are different anyway, and we interact with ppl at our own style, we just have to care if we are beeing polite and social enough that is all. My dad uses to correct the way I'm with other ppl as well and it is damn frutrating, but I just listen to his advice, anylize the behavior I had that time and try to improve it next time :). I think you are doing great :D
- SandyLv 73 years ago
sounds like no matter what you do, your father is going to criticize it. Sorry but your dad is a jerk. you handled the sitch perfectly. If your father wants you to be a man, tell him to shut up because you got this!
- chris nLv 73 years ago
Sounded perfect to me. Some people are touchy=feely (presume your dad is one of them) while others aren't - and you aren't. You don't actually have to touch someone to interact with them. You don't sound like you are struggling at all.....except with your dad.....but that is a natural 'man' thing. He's alpha male in the family and you are the up-coming rival so he'll put you down (not deliberately because he loves you) automatically to retain his superiority. As a dutiful son, you allow the old man to get away with stuff like this - but do your own thing anyway. This rivalry will gradually iron itself out. I wouldn't want to touch/high 5 etc anyone I wasn't totally friends with. You did fine. Don't over-think so much. Good luck you're doing fine.