My boyfriend unintentionally hurts me all the time. I don t know what to do.?


I [20] have been dating my boyfriend [24] for two years. The last couple of months he has hurt me countless times unintentionally. He feels terrible about it and I'll explain to him in great detail for hours why I felt hurt, what specific action(s) triggered that feeling, and then we'll brainstorm how to make sure that doesn't happen again. We did the same for the few times I have hurt his feelings.

Update 2:

He says that he can only understand problems when he is given examples. So during these long conversations, I'll give him specific examples of how it felt when he hurt me and how it's similar to other actions in the past. But I feel like he ends up pigeon-holing that specific example and will do something that is very similar, but slightly different from what ended up hurting me in the first place.

Update 3:

He always says "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you" or "I wasn't thinking", but I'm getting so tired of being understanding and being the one who gets hurt. I'm getting tired of placing my feeling in the hand of someone who is sometimes so thoughtless/careless with them. I get that he doesn't mean it and that he's trying to do better, but it still ******* hurts. I really love him and he loves me, but I have no idea what we can do in order to solve this.

3 Answers

  • ?
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    He's toxic just break it off and find someone worth your time

  • 3 years ago

    No one hurts another person unintentionally that many times unless they have an IQ of 30.. He knows what he's doing and doesn't care about your feelings. The only thought you should have in your mind, is how you're going to dump him.

  • 3 years ago

    It’s not unintentional or accidental if it happens all the time.

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