Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 3 years ago

How can I stop being such a wimp?

I'm 23 years old and I will admit I am a pussy. I'm soft spoken and always avoid confrontation as much as possible. Today I realized I need to change when I purposely walked 15 minutes out of the way to get to work because these teenagers that live down the street always mess with people and it hit me hard because these kids were like 16 and I'm 23. I was raised by my single aunt and she brought me up as a pacifist. she taught me violence is never the answer even when it comes to defending myself, she thinks its better to run away than "stooping down to their level". It's the same with verbal confrontation. Even when I was a kid she wouldn't let me play in the park if there was other kids there. Also one time when I was a kid this other kid pushed me off my bike and stole it and my aunt wouldn't even call his parents who lived across the street because she "didn't wanna cause Drama"

Any advice?

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  • 3 years ago

    Believe in Jesus Christ and you shall have everlasting life! Jesus loves you! Get a king james bible and believe.

    Read Matthew.

    Read 1 John chapter 4.

    Read 2 Peter chapter 3.

    Read Acts chapter 4.

    Read Ephesians chapter 2.

    Read John chapter 1,3 6,15,20.

    Read Romans chapter 3,4,5,8,10,12.

    "Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

    If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

    Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

    Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

    Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."- Romans chapter 12 verses 17 to 21.

    Ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Saviour.

    https://youtu.be/NMMsKicQSn8

    Youtube thumbnail

    https://youtu.be/fCnQQLUJHb8

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    https://youtu.be/Ek8Kqa8naMo

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  • 3 years ago

    You're not a pussy, you're just a guy who picks his battles. It could serve you well. It's a strength, not a weakness. However if you feel like there are things in your life that you're missing out on because you can't stand up for your rights or can't communicate your wants and needs, there are some things you can do.

    For the kids on the street who harass you, you may find that if you walk past them and ignore them they will soon learn that picking on you is no fun. However if the kids are doing anything that makes you feel unsafe, like throwing things at you or trying to steal things from you, in my opinion it would be appropriate to call the police.

    One thing that is helpful for anyone to learn, male and female, is assertive communication.

    Being assertive does not mean being aggressive. It just means saying what you need and what you want clearly.

    Here is a link that explains assertive communication in detail that you may find helps you in your daily life.

    https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stres...

  • 3 years ago

    Although your upbringing is unusual, it sounds like it was too far in a certain direction. Understand that you are not hostage to your family or upbringing; you have the ability to make a choice. There are certain things you could do like take self-defense lessons, and obtain some coaching on assertiveness.

  • 3 years ago

    My advice would be to find a way to increase your self esteem in a way that doesn't include inviting confrontation with a bunch of adolescents.

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  • Helen
    Lv 7
    3 years ago

    Your aunt has let you down. But you don't need to continue blaming her and using your upbringing as an excuse. If you do that, you give up your power to change.

    Violence IS good for some things. In some cases it is justified, in others it isn't. Avoiding drama and violence unnecessarily is not "wimpy" or " cowardly", it is smart, sane, and perfectly human. However, sometimes violence or confrontation is the only solution, especially if your life or the life of a loved one is being threatened. In that instance, you should stand up for what is right.

    You may benefit from taking up martial arts. Martial arts is not about violence and aggression. If anything it is about the opposite. How to handle violence and aggression when confronted with it. There are many benefits to martial arts aside from self defense. You will also gain confidence, fitness, discipline, social and leadership skills.

  • 3 years ago

    This has nothing to do with political pacifism.

    It has to do with a crippling fear of confrontation which may be the result of other childhood trauma. You get a psychiatrist and discuss what’s going on. Chances are pretty good this shows up regularly and is affecting the quality of your life.

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