How should I deal with my disrespectful 8 year old red-headed step-son?

I became step-mom to my man's 2 little boys on New Year's eve of this year. My man has full custody of his kids because his ex is doing time. I have 3 girls of my own, & their dads have no desire to be in their lives, so Duke is filling in as their dad. His boy's mom probably has no chance of... show more I became step-mom to my man's 2 little boys on New Year's eve of this year. My man has full custody of his kids because his ex is doing time. I have 3 girls of my own, & their dads have no desire to be in their lives, so Duke is filling in as their dad. His boy's mom probably has no chance of getting them back when she paroles, cause one of her charges had to do with child abuse to the older boy. This kid is now MY PROBLEM. He has behaviour issues, plus he's a redhead. Freckles too. I don't like him very much, cause he is a pain in the butt. When I scold him, or tell him off, he answers back. That is very disrespectful, especially for an 8 year old. His bro is 6, blond, blue eyes & cute. He gets along with my blond babies who are ages 5,7, & 9. So all children are close in age, except Gary ( the ginger) acts like he is above them. He won't give in to my girls like his bro does, & that causes problems. I know redheads have tempers, but I've told this brat 100 times that is no excuse. He stutters back that the girls are the ones how started it, but I know that can't be true. Duke tells me to spank him, but I am a righteous mother & wouldn't do that. But, I am at a loss in how to deal with this damn kid. Any advice on how to deal with a ginger brat kid would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Update: Oh great. Here we go again. I AM NOT A FREAKING TROLL!! Please people, I am a young, struggling mom/stepmutha with way too many kids. I came here, putting myself out for a child with red hair; and you are persecuting me. I'm just asking for help on how to deal with my step-brat Gary. It's not his fault... show more Oh great. Here we go again. I AM NOT A FREAKING TROLL!! Please people, I am a young, struggling mom/stepmutha with way too many kids. I came here, putting myself out for a child with red hair; and you are persecuting me. I'm just asking for help on how to deal with my step-brat Gary. It's not his fault I'm stuck with him you know. We both need help because of this. Dying his hair, whipping him is out. Unlike his bio mom I won't abuse him. I don't like Gary, but don't want to hurt him.
Update 2: Oh, and by the way @ Anonymous, thank you for the Darwin Award nonimation. Very funny, ha ha. Little Gary's freckles sparkled when I read aloud your non-answer. My man Duke is illiterate, so I have to relay what translates here, so please, people don't waste our time like Anonymous just did. I suspect... show more Oh, and by the way @ Anonymous, thank you for the Darwin Award nonimation. Very funny, ha ha. Little Gary's freckles sparkled when I read aloud your non-answer. My man Duke is illiterate, so I have to relay what translates here, so please, people don't waste our time like Anonymous just did. I suspect he's a ginger himself. Reddies with glitter need not apply.
Update 3: @ J.T.F.C. - Duke wants to know how you knew he & his gingerboy are porkies. I'm a bit curious too, but I suspect it was a wild guess on your part. You screwed up on the color of his belt though. Not that it matters honey, but my man Dukey's belt is a actually blue vinyl...I found it at the Value... show more @ J.T.F.C. - Duke wants to know how you knew he & his gingerboy are porkies. I'm a bit curious too, but I suspect it was a wild guess on your part. You screwed up on the color of his belt though. Not that it matters honey, but my man Dukey's belt is a actually blue vinyl...I found it at the Value Village thrift store. last year. It doesn't work too well as a whip. Not that I'd use it for disciplining the boy of course. I am a rightous woman you know.
Update 4: UPDATE TO ANONYMOUSE'S UPDATE. Oh fer christ sakes! Like you never made typos before. Did it even occur to you that maybe this step-mutha is so stressed out by her obnoxious, redheaded stepbrat, that good grammar is the least of her worries? It's a shame you won't take me seriously, cause little Gary... show more UPDATE TO ANONYMOUSE'S UPDATE. Oh fer christ sakes! Like you never made typos before. Did it even occur to you that maybe this step-mutha is so stressed out by her obnoxious, redheaded stepbrat, that good grammar is the least of her worries? It's a shame you won't take me seriously, cause little Gary is the one suffering for it. You & the other doubters are to blame for the boy's distress. He overhears "whilst" (dumb word btw) I read the answers aloud to his daddio.
Update 5: @ Kim-- Spend on on one time with a ginger brat kid!? Seriously? Do you know anybody with red hair, freckles, and are on the chubby side? I think not. I on the other hand have been stuck with one. His name is Gary. He stutters "whilst" defending himself from my outbursts. He gives me headaches. ... show more @ Kim-- Spend on on one time with a ginger brat kid!? Seriously? Do you know anybody with red hair, freckles, and are on the chubby side? I think not. I on the other hand have been stuck with one. His name is Gary. He stutters "whilst" defending himself from my outbursts. He gives me headaches. Ever since he found out he ain't coming to my family's big party this July, he's been extra bratty. I don't know what to do with him anymore. Please give me better advice.
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