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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 years ago

What was with this person?

I'm an introverted weight lifter at 35 and never had a girlfriend in my life due to self esteem issues that rises when I was a young kid coming from people in general or parents teasing me. So in that regard I never ever really tried to get a girlfriend and just stayed to myself. Of course many girls I came into contact with who were flirty were just bullying me. Truth.

I'm still into girls 18-20 something.

I've seen this one girl in the gym when I first switched clubs. She is always training with her friend. They are eye candy for sure. Every guy in the gym would talk to her and she be surrounded by sharks lol. Noticed the one girl very innocently and maybe even got caught. Therefore, I usually keep my distance. One day I was stretching and she all giggly asked me if I left a water bottle by the machine. It was obvious it was hers. I just shook my head and continued to stretch.

Moments later I went to get some water at the fountain and she was standing behind me waiting for her turn. I simply walked past her like she wasn't born.

The next day I'm walking into the building and she walking to her car. I can feel a strange invisible sense of awkwardness. In the corner of my eye I could tell she looked annoyed. Why?

It's been a couple years and I stil see her in there time to time. She was sitting doing arm curls and I walk by to go to a station. In the corner of my eye I could see she made a sharp turn with her head in my direction


Plus her and her friend were always surrounded by sharks. Not only that, but when I'm around girls I like or am attracted to I get high levels of stress.

2 Answers

  • Favorite Answer

    Maybe the reason why you have the issues you do is because you are in your mid thirties, pushing 40, at a different life phase versus an 18-20 year old, and only narrowing your dating preferences to chicks that are too young for you. (18?) 9 times out of ten, especially attractive girls, who know they are attractive, are not going to want to waste their time with someone who is in a different life phase versus themselves.

    Just food for thought..

    Now, to narrow into your question on the subject matter.. you are 35 and with all due respect, act like it.

    Have you ever conversed with this girl?

    If you are interested in her, then ask her out.. get to know her... if she senses that all you are doing is gwaking at her like a perverted hawk.. she's going to get irritated, as a female that goes to a gym myself, I know I would.

    Just watching her flock around the gym and not actually interacting with the girl is pointless and won't lead you anywhere unless you make a move..

  • 3 years ago

    she wants to talk to you and you are afraid to even look at her. Start by just saying hi when you see her. remember to smile when you say it. after a few times it may get easier to say hi

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