Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 years ago

How to get out of a strict Christian marriage.?

Hi. I was raised in the quiverfull culture.

Where women have as many children as God thinks she can handle.

I was married at 18 after courting a young man a year older then me for less than 3 months. We were married and in my honeymoon I got pregnant which is normal for people like me, my mother has 15 children and she is pregnant. Me and my husband never kissed or had sex untill wedding night. Well, now I am 25 and I have 5 children. I am already exhausted. I don’t want this life anymore, I always thought it was normal, being isolated I guess I missed out in the real world. I was homeschooled as well and was never informed about birth control as I was taught my body belonged to my dad untill married then my husband. I never wore pants and when I would shop and see women wearing pants I would always look at them with sadness thinking why would their husband allow them to be so manly? Well, my cousin is different then me she is the Same age as me, has no kids and is not a Virgin. We have been secretly talking for 4 months now and I told her I want out. She said she will help me anyway she can but first I don’t know what the first step is, I want to be educated I want a degree like my cousin. I want my daughters to go to college and not be like me miserable and unhappy. My husband doesn’t do anything but go to work and then ask for sex and doesn’t wait for my consent as in our beliefs a married women doesn’t say no. He doesn’t help out with kids at all


He just says it’s a women’s duty to be a wife and mother, cook clean and that’s it. And he won’t eben listen to me as a women is suppose to be quiet and obedient but I am sick of it, I want to be a modern women and have my own life and not just be his Baby machine for the next 10 years, I am 25 at this rate I could have another 10 kids.

Update 2:

I am miserable and i am not at all happy, I was for the first year or two but now I can see this is wrong.

Update 3:

Yes I will divorce him in time, hopefully soon but he won’t agree to the divorce.

4 Answers

  • Steve
    Lv 7
    2 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    File for divorce. He isn’t a life partner, isn’t going to be, and you know it.

    It was a mistake to marry him; correct the mistake.

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  • Liz
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    There is no such thing as a "Christian marriage". Marriage is a legal status that has nothing to do with your religious beliefs. Therefore if you want to end your marriage, you do the same thing everyone else does - you consult a lawyer, learn your rights and file the necessary paperwork with the courts. Your husband's consent is not necessary.

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  • .
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    How to get out of a marriage depends on the laws where you live. You didn't tell us what country you live in. If you are in the US, you don't need your spouse's consent to divorce and your marriage being 'xian' is immaterial from a legal standpoint. The court will grant a divorce even if only 1 party wants it.

    Someone in the situation you describe, could also benefit greatly from counseling to help them learn what a more typical American lifestyle involves.

  • 2 years ago

    It will go against everything you were taught and raised with. BUT sometimes, the Wrong thing is the Right Way to go.

    FORCED/ARRANGED Marriages are rarely Happy Ones (its more like a life prison).

    The Single mother life will NOT be easy, but you have SOME Freedoms you don't have now.

    I feel terrible telling you to Go For It, but God gave you Life and Free Will. Each minute you only get 60 seconds ONCE. Your life should be FULL OF SMILES AND GOOD MEMORIES.

    I can honestly tell you, you Will WORK and EARN whatever Life you create for you and your kids.


    To get out of any kind of Commitment... "CHEATING" is usually a good TOOL to use.

    • MaryAnne2 years agoReport

      Why do u want me to be unhappy? I want to divorce him so bad, I will divorce him, he makes my life Hell. Why would u think it’s right? This life is wrong in this day and age and I’ve realized it too late but I want to find happiness I am 25!

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