Jealousy is an emotional response, facing the risk of losing the relationship with a person we love. There are different reasons that make a person jealous, but always these reasons are related to a very great insecurity and a fear of being replaced or replaced by another.
Unfortunately, jealousy and insecurities are often explained in a very basic and simple way, such as: if you are not jealous, it is because you do not love me; or on the contrary, if my partner has too much jealousy, it is because he is very insecure and possessive.
But the truth is that jealousy is something much more complex that we must understand to avoid affecting our relationships. The moment we understand why we are jealous, it will be much easier to control jealousy.
All people can become jealous, but the intensity and severity of this feeling will depend on our history and our way of being. The only way to handle them properly is knowing the origin of this feeling.
To know its origin we must analyze: the quality of the relationship, the history of previous relationships, and the personal security and self-esteem of each member of the relationship.
Quality of the relationship: Each relationship is different and unique, however there are common elements that are repeated in jealous couples. These elements are:
Mistrust: Obviously if I do not trust my partner, I have much more chance of feeling jealous, and the same thing happens the other way around, if my partner does not trust me, he will probably be very jealous. We can begin to distrust our partner in the first dates, or perhaps, after years of relationship. We begin to stop believing him because he has lied to us several times, or we see that he lies to his friends, so apparently he is a person who uses lies to solve problems. When there is distrust, most of the time there is more jealousy. Also, if our partner was unfaithful at some time, it is obvious that we will distrust him. And vice versa, if we were once unfaithful, it is very normal for our partner to distrust us. And clearly, if one mistrusts, one begins to get more jealous than normal. And this jealousy, We know how destructive they can be for our relationship. But as we have read inhow to overcome an infidelity , this type of crisis can be solved and we can even end up more united with our partner.
Little sexual life: Sexual encounters, as the name says, are spaces of communication, encounter and union in the couple. So, if as a couple we do not have sexual encounters, we will begin to distance ourselves and move away. And then, we will ask ourselves why we have so little sex, and in the attempt to answer this question, it is normal that jealousy begins to appear.
Insecurity: It also affects that we are jealous insecurity that we transmit to our partner, that is, if we are constantly threatening to leave or change it for another person, obviously our partner will be insecure and anxious. If we are constantly criticizing our partner and there are very few times that we say we love her, we love her and we find her attractive, it is also very likely that she is insecure, and therefore, she becomes jealous more often. And the same thing happens the other way around, if our partner threatens to leave us or very rarely tells us romantic things, it is very likely that we will also become a jealous person.
Seduce and flirt others: There are people who are always seducing and flirting with others, so they always generate a sexual tension with them. Obviously, if our partner is like that: flirtatious and seductive, we will be much more jealous of the normal ones. And of course, if we are the coquettish and seductive, it is normal that our man is more jealous than we would like. Likewise, there are more damaged couples, who use seduction to generate jealousy in their partner.