Should I ask him for permission?
I've been seeing the ex of a friend and things have been going good and now I'm unsure of what to do. So they broke up almost a year ago and her and I have still talked to each other ever since. I've had a crush on her ever since I met her and even though I've tried not to go there I can't stop thinking about her. Up until recently we've started hanging out during the week as just the two of us. Nothing's happened but there's a lot of tension and I'm not sure how long it can stay that way. I feel like if I don't make a move I'll regret it, so should I ask my friend how he feels about it? I know he doesn't own her but should I ask him?
- 2 years agoFavorite Answer
No you shouldn’t ask him; they’re not together anymore, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Once you make a move, and you two are together, you can talk to him and say “About a month ago, so and so and I got in touch and things have progressed, we are seeing each other now. I wanted you to hear it from me even though nothing ever happened while you were dating her.” End of story.
Life is too short. You can be considerate AND get what you want. His opinion now is irrelevant.
Edit: if you tell him before you date her, it is the same as asking for permission! And his reaction will sway you. Why put yourself through that? Do what you want, tell him after the fact and there’s nothing he can do. Simple.
- LadyLv 72 years ago
There is no reason for you to ask him for permission to
date her. She does not belong to him. It is entirely up
to her if she will go out with you. But you may want to
tell him that you are interested in here so he is in the loop
as to what is going on. After all he is your friend and it is
better he hears it from you.
- KellyLv 72 years ago
Well... you need to decide which relationship is more important to you because one of them is going to end.
- Anonymous2 years ago
I would never date an ex of a friend. That is a line that you should not cross. It could ruin your friendship. You should not have gotten involved with her. There are enough single girls out there without going after your friend's ex. How would you feel if your friend would do that to you?
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- linkus86Lv 72 years ago
Most definitely talk to him about it. Not doing so would be a clear violation of the "Bro Code" and you know it (hence the guilt you are feeling). Only a woman would answer differently.
- TealLv 72 years ago
Don't ask permission. That implies he has a choice, and it sounds like you are going to date her regardless of how he feels. Say you like her and plan to ask her out, but you wanted to tell him first as a courtesy. Unless they broke up on bad terms or he is still in love with her, I don't think it's inappropriate to ask her out a year after the break up. If he is upset, it's his problem.