What do I want from this guy?

I'm a 19 year old girl. I'm very close with a guy who is the same age. Known each other for about 12 years, our mothers are like sisters. I DONT see him as a brother/relative. He's the kindest person I know. It's like I see him as more than a friend but not as a lover/partner. I don't know what... show more I'm a 19 year old girl. I'm very close with a guy who is the same age.
Known each other for about 12 years, our mothers are like sisters. I DONT see him as a brother/relative.

He's the kindest person I know. It's like I see him as more than a friend but not as a lover/partner. I don't know what to call that.

I love him dearly, but not at all sexually. I can't imagine having sex with him. That seems wrong. But what I do imagine is just laying next to him and talking. Not doing anything sexual but just talking and laughing. We do hug every time we see each other or leave.

We flirt A LOT. I sit close to him so our legs are touching, he tells me to sit with him all the time. We laugh together and we're kind of shy around one another.

He has a girlfriend but its kind of a new relationship. I'm not bothered about that and not jealous. However, I know it would kind of hurt to see him get married to someone else one day. I don't know if he would think the same about me too.

I can't talk to him about this. Imagine if he sees it entirely different and sees me as like a sister. I just don't want to ruin our closeness. I feel like I can tell him anything and I'm so interested in finding out his liked, dislikes, favourite things etc.

I guess I'm just asking for advice.
Thanks
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