I can’t really answer your exact question. I can say that everything you mentioned you aren’t going to find. Not for any particular reason. If there’s a list of criteria, especially as specific as yours, that has more than 10 characteristics, you’ll never find it. I’m just being a realist. You can probably come close, and if you can be happy for that, don’t be upset because he’s “missing” a few things you’re looking for.
Also, it’s good that you’re in lie detector mode when guys approach. Many can be looking for only one thing. Not all, so keep an open mind.
Have you ever approached a guy who you thought you might be into?