My old schoolfriend has died and someone is collecting money into their account through FB group messenger - is this normal?

So I hadn't seen this guy for over 25 years. Last year we met up through FB for coffee and a chat and he FB's me messages a few times a month. He suddenly died and I didn't know but heard through an old schoolfriend so I asked what happened and they forwarded me to a group chat on FB about it. Well on... show more So I hadn't seen this guy for over 25 years. Last year we met up through FB for coffee and a chat and he FB's me messages a few times a month. He suddenly died and I didn't know but heard through an old schoolfriend so I asked what happened and they forwarded me to a group chat on FB about it.

Well on the chat the old schoolfriend is collecting money into their bank account for the family.
But they started collecting before he was actually dead! They were switching him off the same day.
And I haven't seen anyone else in person since school 25 years ago.
The family have now said they are asking for donations to a charity. But the group chat is still giving money from all the schoolfriends on there to this person - and they say they will pass it on to the charity in our names.

Can someone tell me what the etiquette is in this situation? I don't even know if I'll go to the funeral as it will be like a school reunion and he used to flirt with me on FB not date me - so it's a bit weird - I don't think I'd expect any of them to go to my funeral and he told me he only kept ion touch with a few of them on FB and the last reunion was 10 years ago.

Shall I just light a candle? or do I give money to this person (does it sound dodgy to you?) no one is saying the amounts just saying on the group chat that they've put money into the account.
Do I go to the funeral ? I don't know - a few people have left the chat and some have suggested that the family didn't want this to happen.
11 answers 11