In need for a father?

Okay so, I am fourteen and I met my real father like only twice only for five mins because my parents never lived together. My mom got a bf and they have a kid now as well I dont like that bf at all though. I hate him And lately I have been wanting a man's arms around me trying to calm me down. I also often get... show more Okay so, I am fourteen and I met my real father like only twice only for five mins because my parents never lived together.
My mom got a bf and they have a kid now as well
I dont like that bf at all though. I hate him
And lately I have been wanting a man's arms around me trying to calm me down. I also often get jealous when I see someone with a father. Especially if it's a daughter. And I don't know what to do with my feelings. I just start crying while thinking of a father. I don't know but I would even feel better with a father giving ''the talk'' to me? Mom already did that with me but I didn't feel good listening to her either few years ago. And I feel like fathers can understand daugters better. One problem is I can't go and say hello to my father cause my mom would beat me up if she found out I went to my other family. But I want a father so badly and I can't stop thinking about it. Someone to give me advice how to stop?
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