Do you ever want something bad to happen to you? Or to have something be wrong with you?

Often when I'm on the bus, I think "I want this bus to crash and put me in the hospital." I quickly retract myself because I know it is a selfish thought. There are people worth living on that bus. I'm not suicidal and I don't have thoughts of ending my life, but for some reason, as scared of... show more Often when I'm on the bus, I think "I want this bus to crash and put me in the hospital." I quickly retract myself because I know it is a selfish thought. There are people worth living on that bus. I'm not suicidal and I don't have thoughts of ending my life, but for some reason, as scared of death as I am, I sometimes feel satisfied when I imagine myself being severely injured, or feeling like I am mentally jacked up. (not in a serial-psycho way, but depressed, or anxious type of way) It's not good to think like this, and I don't always think like this, but sometimes when I get this feeling of emptiness in my chest, I can't help but feel this way.

Does anyone else ever have thoughts like this?
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