Figuring out why you lack confidence can help you target those feelings. Start writing a "self-esteem" journal, where you note when you feel more and less confident about the way you look. After a week or two, look back at your notes and try to find patterns to the way you feel.
Were you more confident in any of the following situations: after spending more time grooming or getting ready, if you dressed a certain way, spending time in smaller groups, spending time away from certain individuals, or spending less time on social media or looking at celebrity media?
Are there any "bigger" issues, such as your employment status or personal troubles that seem to trigger your feelings of low confidence? Some people turn this type of anxiety towards their self-perception, which may seem easier to deal with than the “bigger” problem of job security or personal problems.
If you don't see any patterns or you're still not sure what is causing your lack of confidence, you may want to try a number of different tips to find what seems to help the most.Write the 3 things about your looks and the 3 things about your personality that you like the most. Place all 6 items in order of importance and write 1 sentence about each. For example, “I help others. I volunteer every week for a local charity and always call my friends back right away when they need to talk.”Notice where the physical features ranked relative to your personality features; most people rank personality features above physical features, which emphasizes not only that our self-esteem is influenced more about how we feel about our personality but also that others’ opinion of us is likely more influenced about personality too.
Write down the 3 physical features that you think are most appealing to you, using a sentence to describe each one. For example, “My long curly hair - especially just after I leave the hair salon and looks so full and bouncy” or “My broad shoulders, especially when my girlfriend puts her head on my shoulder for comfort.”
This exercise shows that everyone has features they can be proud of. These features can be accentuated by clothing choice. Look at yourself in the mirror and see what thoughts come into your head. Whose words are they: your own or someone else’s? Whose words do they remind you of: a bully’s, a parent’s or a friend’s?
Question the accuracy of the words in your head: Are your muscles really smaller than most people’s? Are your hips really that big? Are you really that much taller than other people? Do any of those things really matter?
Think about how you would talk to a friend. How is it different than your self-talk, and how can you get yourself to think positively about yourself instead of using the critical or negative tone you likely used to begin with?
Find what you like about yourself in the mirror and from now on, whenever you look in the mirror, look at this attribute rather any perceived negative attributes you normally focus on.Remember that the media portrayal of the body is designed to make you feel bad about yourself because that is what gets you to buy products and new clothes. Not only are the body images portrayed not average, they are often helped by digital enhancement using software like Adobe Photoshop. People who recognize this and are more media savvy often have better self-perceptions. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about the way you look, stop yourself and re-frame it as something positive. For example, if you think your nose is too big, stop and remind yourself that you have a strong, unique profile. If you think you are overweight, think about your awesome curves and plan what lifestyle changes you can make.Every night before you go to sleep, write down 3 positive things about yourself. Then in the morning, read them and add two more. It's okay to repeat what you have said before. The more positive self-thought you have, the better your overall self-esteem will become.If your negative self-perception persists, you may want to consider seeing a therapist. Your thoughts about the way you look may be related to deeper issues that you're not fully aware of, and counselling can help you have a healthier self-esteem in general.
Best Wishes Bub xox