Somebody smart once pointed out that Italian race cars have no rear view mirror. The driver needs to be paying attention to where the car will be in the future, not where it was in the past. Your situation is exactly the same thing. You cannot go back and change decisions you made earlier, but you can make the future a bright one for yourself. You say that you are "behind in your academics," and this fact needs your immediate attention. Your grades in community college need to be the very best possible so that a wide variety of future opportunities remains available to you. Look carefully at the situation, determine why you are "behind," and fix it. Talk to instructors, counselors, and advisers, and get whatever help you need in order to get those grades up. The second thing to do is visit a counselor and get some assistance evaluating your future plans. Many opportunities in medical professions are still open to you, but there are other satisfying choices as well. The world is full of people who have fulfilling careers without entering a medical field. Focus your efforts on the present and the future, and forget the past, and you'll be much happier and better off.