Im I going to die alone as my boyfriend said?

I clearly can't stop blaming myself. My boyfriend told me he was the only one who would ever be with me because I believe in waiting for marriage. That's my choice and I don't care if you think it's B.S. everyone been telling me this. I'm literally so depressed and insecure for being pressured... show more I clearly can't stop blaming myself. My boyfriend told me he was the only one who would ever be with me because I believe in waiting for marriage. That's my choice and I don't care if you think it's B.S. everyone been telling me this. I'm literally so depressed and insecure for being pressured to have sex. My boyfriend checks girls out infront of me constantly and then blames me for it. If I'm on a date, a man should not be giving other girls attention. He is free to leave me without having to tell me, "I was thinking of leaving you because u won't sleep with me." Or my "lust for other girls is because u don't have sex." feel so depressed!!!! And I've started to believe him when he says "I can't find another man in my life." He uninvited me to hang out with his friends because there wasn't room in the car for me and there was no word of him for two days. He later apologized but I don't know how to forgive him. No he did not cheat on me. He just left me. He was mad that I walked infront of him once but he was with his friends, and they were speaking their own language and they speak English well but they still chose to brush me off so why was this ever my fault that I walked infront of them. He didn't want me to hold him so what should I have walked behind him? Next to him and be ignored. I blame myself so much for everything
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