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? asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 2 years ago

My new poem, honest thoughts and opinions?

Ice dripping, cold sweat

strong hold, hot breathe

My finger lingers with everything faint whisper

Bloody dashes, pulsing vein

The black and blue tell a story

Of pleasure born from pain

Of beauty sprung from sin

Of my desire within the fire

And our flesh intertwined all day

Before our love died in the mire

4 Answers

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  • 2 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not bad at all. Good internal rhyme, not cliché to the point of overdone, succinct. Good jib.

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  • 2 years ago

    My thoughts are this..

    Whip me bloody,beat me right,

    you won't see me after tonight.

    • Shazy
      Lv 4
      2 years agoReport

      I dare not comment!

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  • Shazy
    Lv 4
    2 years ago

    Gosh! It just gets better every time you retell it mate! I'm flattered that you used my "ice" word to start it off!

    I thought it was about self harm this time!

    Good grief! Is that how you make love?

  • 2 years ago

    I like it, poems about love are the best :)

    • Shazy
      Lv 4
      2 years agoReport

      Best answer! Lol

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