How do I deal with my mom hurting me deeply and that she is the reason for my suicidal thoughts?
I am a male, she keeps putting down men in general, talking about how every man is a rapist and how I could be it if I weren’t raised right? She said that if I were raised by an abusive father I could turn into a rapist and so on, I told her that it really hurt when she keeps saying those things to me because I can’t chose my gender. I was born a male, what the **** am I supposed to do? She has been verbally abusive for years on, she has made my anxiety and depression worst and I can’t deal with her anymore. She always tries to hurt me and I am only 16, I can’t do up for that my father left us or that men rape women but I know that i would never do anything to cause harm onto others. I have tried explaining this to others and they say that I over react, im not a bad person and have been described as kind. This isn’t the only thing she has commented, Im just really getting sick of everything
- RWPossumLv 72 years agoBest Answer
You're at an age when the influence of your peers, especially your close friends, is important. As you get older, this will be even more pronounced, and the time when you're moving out is not really that far away. Her influence is receding into the distance.
I can believe that you're a kind person, which strongly suggests that she's not all bad. Kind people don't just appear out of nowhere. They're the products of careful nurturing. Another thing you'll learn as you mature is accepting people in spite of their flaws. Without this ability, you're always going to be disappointed, because we all have flaws. That special someone who seems perfect will reveal her flaws when you get to know her well. If you're not bowled over by the revelation, you'll be happy, or at least much happier.
Right now, you have to live with this person. Making her a villain in your drama doesn't help. Think in terms of problems - getting over your condition and getting along with her.
If you're depressed, there's a good chance that your behavior has been irritating to her. Maybe you're not doing your homework or losing your temper. Whatever the problem is, work on it and get as much peace in your home as you can. Work on making the two of you more content.
Here's a tip that's helped a lot of people. For a motivation problem, like not being able to do homework or cleaning, start with something really easy. Start homework by proofreading a paper or something. Or, work for 5 min and take a short break. Breaks are good but always watch the clock.
About anger, here's a very simple thing. If you think you're about to say the wrong thing, tighten your jaw muscles, take a deep breath, and think of the best response, which might be saying nothing at all. Don't overlook the value of silence.
If she wants to debate with you about radical feminism, the best thing would be to convey a sense of apathy based on the fact that you've heard her diatribe 1000 times. Again, silence is golden.
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
- William James
"No one wins an argument."
- Dale Carnegie
I've written a lot of anxiety and depression answers, with advice from experts about standard treatments and self-help. Of course, you're welcome to click on my name and read.
Sometimes, as this video, explains, suicidal thoughts are very dangerous signs. This is part of a series that deals with suicidal thinking.
- meLv 52 years ago
Ask her "What am I supposed to do?" or just say "Sorry." every time she mentions it, she'll get the point, hopefully.
- MKLv 62 years ago
Conflict is like a fire—if it is not contained, it may rage out of control. Try this:
- kelvinLv 72 years ago
move out if your old enough
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- Anonymous2 years ago
Just ignore her