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Do you think these texts between my spouse & a coworker are flirty/flirtatious? They text a lot, these ones raised my eyebrows?
CW=Coworker SP=Spouse (Punctuation/Capitalization etc done exact same)
Ex.1 around noon on a Sat.
SP: sent another coworkers info
CW: I'm surprised you know how to send contacts like that
same day just later that night
SP: Stop by at __. I'll buy you a drink
CW: Me or Aaron?
CW: I'll see
SP: ____is here.
CW: I shoulda stayed at your building until after the meeting
CW: I'm coming back
Same day after work
several texts about work and other coworker and how bored CW is at her new location
CW: You should just come sit up there (new location) with me :)
CW: I can't believe you!!
CW: I saw u here
CW: U didn't say hi
SP: sorry, busy getting mad at people etc etc (work issues)
2 hrs. later
CW: you should come to the store with me
next texts were about our daughters accident (that happened during that time)
Ex. 4 several texts related to work and the upcoming 4 day weekend
SP: What's out there? camping
SP: Have a good time
CW: I could get attacked by a bear
SP: they have a bear safety video
CW: I should watch it :)
CW: Are you coming to the "function" tomorrow?
SP: Are you inviting me
CW: lol yep
CW: starts at 11
SP: for sure
CW: Idk why, but you have a calming effect on me
Ex.7 Sat late morning
CW: you should come get your truck washed at the ____ car wash
SP: I forgot about that
2 hrs. later
SP: Damn now I owe you money
CW: 3 laughing with tears emojis
I've been dealing with this for a year now, these are just the surface. Look at my question from last year. I just want to know if I'm over reacting or not. I want second opinions,when your spouse changes towards you, you're going to snoop. He's never text other women like this before. This is new and out of character for him.
Trust went out the window when he lied about who he was texting and then deleted texts at least 3 times. They also chat on their work system, he admits almost everyday. So why text at night ffs? Also "I can't believe you, I saw u here & u didn't say hi" << that is flirtatious. And for me the "you have a calming effect on me" over the line. He is also giving her encouragement when she needs it "GL" "you've got this" etc., meanwhile I can't even get a hi bye or f you.
- DavidLv 64 years agoFavorite Answer
They are not flirtatious. Not literally. The problem is, one line "you have a calming effect on me". No, that line is NOT flirtatious. But it is revealing. The coworker is emotionally attached to your spouse. Coworker reacts emotionally when spouse is around. Coworker is either in love with spouse, or falling in love with spouse. THAT MUCH IS CERTAIN. No, I am not guessing. Coworker spelled it out in black and white in text.
But unless there are other texts you did not post, then the two of them are not flirting with each other. But just because they aren't flirting doesn't mean that there is not a problem. There is a potential problem that exists because coworker is falling in love with spouse. HOWEVER:
Don't over-react. Keep in mind that the feeling appears to be one-way at the moment. Don't punish your spouse for another person learning to love your spouse. That would be mis-placed anger, and not fair to your spouse.
- Anonymous4 years ago
They are having sex.
- shyhonneyLv 44 years ago
Something is definitely going on right there.
- 4 years ago
These are normal conversations. Not flirtatious..
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- Anonymous4 years ago
I came here to answer but your post confused me, doesn't seem flirty more friendly than flirty
- Anonymous4 years ago
lmffao @ this post..It was like looking at 12 grade math, outta my league and 3 dimensional--but i'll give it a whirl: Oh GD..i tried, i swear i did..But all that SP and CW and Ex4...blah blah blah just make me feel like i had a bad hangover from a 2 night drunk.
Good Luck Hun. I hope i helped!
psss..they snoop too!
- .Lv 74 years ago
Those messages are killer boring and nothing to even raise an eyebrow over.
However, if my significant other was snooping into my texts (much less copying the messages and sharing them with others, for evaluation) we'd likely be on the verge of parting ways. Invasion of privacy is NOT okay. Your insecurity is going to end your marriage. If you're that worried he's cheating, get into marriage counseling. That way IF anything is going on, you may be able to turn things around. If it's not, then it's clear you need to learn to trust and communicate better with your spouse (and him communicate better with you).
No trust = no relationship.
- sabrinaLv 44 years ago
If you are suspicious, there is a reason so just be careful.
- BeatriceBattenLv 74 years ago
Why don't you ask your spouse about this?
Why areyou snooping on your spouse's phone?
If you don't trust your spouse, then does it really matter if (s)he is flirting or cheating with someone else? The marriage is in trouble if there's a lack of trust, whether something is going on or not.
Stop snooping and actually DEAL with the problem by talking about it. If your spouse won't talk, or if you don't believe them, then start thinking about your next step.
- Jackie MLv 74 years ago
There's no harm being done at the moment but one thing will lead to another if you don't put a stop to it? Good LuckSource(s): Divorced