What you're looking for is for someone to solve your problems for you. None of what you mentioned matters.
Abused? So? A lot of people have been abused and still must live life.
Have a mental illness? Welcome to Yahoo Answers! It's what we do best.
Not good enough? Well, if you look at Trump, he's upset that we don't like him. Does he stop being a d*bag? No. He doesn't care enough to change his behavior.
Ordered something too expensive and you're afraid to do it again? Guess what, as soon as you make money on your own, you can buy whatever the f* you want and you'll probably do the same thing (get upset at yourself for paying too much).
The world is full of personality conflicts and parent/child personality conflicts are classic cases. They happen to everyone and many don't end up as pretty as yours, but we all make it through them and leave them in the past, no matter how terrible.
You feel like a victim, based on how you describe yourself and if you literally believe that you're a victim of the world, you'll end up doing more damage to yourself than anyone else can possibly do. That's not hyperbole. That's truth. When you get older, you'll see it everywhere.
Make your own life better by putting one foot in front of the other. When the years pass by and you realize how far you've gone with minimal effort, you'll find pride in yourself. If you can't do that, guess what: time ill pass you by whether you want it to or not. If you don't pull yourself forward, nobody will. The world will use you as their emotion dumpster, because you don't feel like you have a choice.
Life is easier than most will have you believe, but playing a victim is a sure way to end it all.