I need to see a psychologist, but my parents don't believe me?

I feel almost numb, every day. The only thing I /really/ feel is an immense self hatred. See, I was mentally (and physically, but not physical enough to leave marks) by my stepfather my entire childhood, so I believe almost all of my problems come from solely that. He made me believe that I wasn't good enough,... show more I feel almost numb, every day. The only thing I /really/ feel is an immense self hatred. See, I was mentally (and physically, but not physical enough to leave marks) by my stepfather my entire childhood, so I believe almost all of my problems come from solely that. He made me believe that I wasn't good enough, wasn't thin enough, wasn't pretty enough, wasn't smart enough, that nobody loves me or will ever love me. I can't stand my weight, or my body; I'm not in the right body is what I mean, I guess. I have almost mind-numbing depression, and although I haven't been diagnosed with anything, it's very clear something is wrong. I've been stressed lately, and that caused me to gain almost 47 ******* pounds, and I nearly killed myself. I hate this.

I get too ******* frustrated at the tiniest things all the time, which causes me to get really ashamed and I just...cry. I'm sensitive to yelling, so whenever someone yells at me I just cry. I constantly say sorry because I don't think I'm good enough, but when my now-parents yell at me for apologizing, it doesn't help me to stop apologizing, it just makes me afraid of it. I dwell on my mistakes too much, too; I ordered an expensive thing at a restaurant one time, and my dad pointed it out, and ever since then I've been paranoid at getting something that's too expensive, which annoys my now-parents MORE. fml.
Update: Whenever I bring up the idea of a therapist to my now-parents they always say they're "going to do it", but then change the subject. I know it's expensive, which is why I don't want to bring it up too often. They think that the abuse my stepdad put me through was tough, but they believe I can... show more Whenever I bring up the idea of a therapist to my now-parents they always say they're "going to do it", but then change the subject. I know it's expensive, which is why I don't want to bring it up too often. They think that the abuse my stepdad put me through was tough, but they believe I can deal with it on my own when I can't if I'm always so close to breaking down. I don't want to hurt myself, or kill myself, but I'm afraid of what will happen to me in the future if I don't get help. Help me?
Update 2: Besides, even if I don't have depression or anxiety or all the other things I think I have, I would like to see if I /do/ have anything, to be sure I'm not just over-exaggerating. I want to get help, but yes, I am too young to get help for myself.
Update 3: I...was not expecting some of these answers? Jesus Christ, what is insulting me going to help either of us? I guess I should have expected that from Yahoo!Answers, but thank you for those that actually tried to give me helpful advice and just criticize me and say I'm faking it for attention.
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