Should I talk to my son's high school football coach about unfairness?
I would love to have the ear of the head football coach, or any of his assistants, to discuss some unfairness I have seen, and have it be a positive interaction. I am a reasonable person, and try to understand all sides to an issue, even if I don't agree. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt as well. I am also a mother though, who hates to see her children hurt, and believes if I don't stick up for my child, no one else will. Being a reasonable person I want to make sure that I have a true beef before I say anything, and if I do, what can I say to come off the right way, and not in a way that would make the coaches turn a deaf ear?
Football is very important to my son. He is a good athlete, I don't necessarily understand all the stats, but other people who are impressed with him, tell me so every game! His brother was really good before him and earned nearly a free ride to go to college and play football. My younger son is trying his best to come out of his big brother's shadow and has done pretty well so far in doing that. This summer he attended every workout, every community service, every football camp for himself, and to help the coach with a camp he was having for younger boys. He has always been responsible and dependable, in fact, his coach as commented on this. He has played the same position in youth football up to freshman year, and practiced this position ALL summer long. So as school begins, an assistant coach changes his position (fullback) and puts him in a unfamiliar position, and puts another kid in his place. This kid is fast, be he's not nearly as strong and not as aggressive. Several people have come up to us at games and asked us why our son was not in that position because it was obvious to them that he should be. Obviously, on game night, this is really hard to watch. The other kid playing his old position, does not have a sense of responsibility or work ethic at all. He didn't do anything to help the coach out this year, and sometimes didn't go to practice this summer because it was too hot, or he wanted to sleep in. This is unimaginable to us. If you commit to something you do what is expected! I feel like I am helpless to do ANYTHING. I want to talk to the coach about all of this, but my son doesn't want me to, he feels it would make him look bad and make the coaches mad at him. He is afraid to talk to the coaches for fear of them retaliating and reducing his playtime even more. It's like the coaches think they are god, and how dare someone complain to or question them. And is it really nice to be unapproachable, and is it fair to take their frustrations out by making things hard on the kid because he, or his parents, ask questions and hold them responsible for their actions? To me, the coaches are no different than anyone else, in any other job, the employee is held accountable for their actions or choices and should be ready to defend what they have done, good or bad, right or wrong.
To make matters worse, they have brought up a freshman to play the full back position at times. It's not like my son could go back to that position he has ALWAYS known to give the other guy a break. I have seen other unfairness too...like promising a role in the kick off team to someone else, and then bring that freshman kid in to play instead. If you haven't guessed by now, the freshman kid has parents the coaches want to impress. It's so unfair to the other kids. I don't want to be resentful and not enjoy the football game, and I don't want to run my mouth off and cause more problems either. I left one game early because I felt the words coming on! I don't want special favors, I just want my kid, and everyone treated fairly. Is there anyway I can get this disappointment and my point across to the coaches?
- Anonymous4 years agoFavorite Answer
Pls do not go talk to the coach... the coach has put your son at that position because he might be better off there. My coach always said "im not afraid of your parents so dont bring them up to me questionin me b/c this isnt Popwarner or Peewee league. I dont have to let you play at all". My mother did that same mistake 3 years ago my sophmore year and i didnt get to play as much as i did before she spoke to him... but i did the next two seasons. My freshman year i was a Wide Reciever.. I gained alot of weight over the summer and got a lot stronger. We had only two Tight Ends and the both were seniors and they were going to graduate so he needed me as Tight End.. basically what i am saying is that the coach is doing whats best for the team and has everything planned out. Dont interfere with your sons football career. I understand the want to but PLEASE DONT. He will benefit from it in the long run.
- Blocking BackLv 74 years ago
You can but it may have a negative impact. I would always try to find time to talk to parents but they never had any influence on my decisions.