Whats wrong with me?

i always upset my mom by yelling and snapping at her and i try and try to stop but it keeps going and going. also i cut and cry all the time and get frustrated easily which i know are symptoms of depression but i dont think im that deppressed. i cant focus on one thing and homeowrk and school is really hard for me.... show more i always upset my mom by yelling and snapping at her and i try and try to stop but it keeps going and going. also i cut and cry all the time and get frustrated easily which i know are symptoms of depression but i dont think im that deppressed. i cant focus on one thing and homeowrk and school is really hard for me. ive thought about suicide but i never do because i dint want to hurt my family and friends. i think i and rude to my mom cause if she doesnt love me much it will be so much easier to leave. talk therapy didnt help me either. also im always fidgeting . ive seeked out to a friend but ive stopped talking to him that much beacause im afraid i might like him and im scared that he will not like me and leave me. he reallt gets me because hes been through around the same stuff as me. i dont know wat to do and i know this is a lot but please help me
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