What to do about husbands family and his best friend enableing his drinking?
He is an alcoholic. His drinking got out of control after our son was born. He says and does aweful and stupid things while drunk. His family knows his drinking causes problems but they still have alcohol around him and even offer it to him. Before he used to literally thank me for taking the beer away now he just curses at me and says I'm causing problems for telling him to stop drinking.
His friend knows all the crazy stupid stuff he has done while drunk and his family has said they used to. It want him around because he caused problems when he drank.
Is there anything that can be said to his family about not enableing his drinking by drinking around him or at least to keep beer away. They are an awesome tight family and they have family get togethers very often and some drink which is a problem.
- Anonymous4 years ago
Nothing you can do, you have told them i suppose that he is an alcoholic? sometimes this runs in families,so members of his family are likely to be drinkers too, but he is a grown man and only he can decide to stop.
- 4 years ago
It is not what you can do about his family enabling hi to drink, but what your husband going to do about it. He seems to think that he do not have any problem. You cannot even order not to go to his family gathering. You need help and may want to start attending AA for the spouses of drunk. It would be good if he also attend, but don't seems that way.
- seedy historyLv 74 years ago
Your husband is the only person who can make him stop drinking. You know that. No one else he knows on the planet could offer him any liquor.. .and he'd still find new people to drink with if he wants to be drinking. It will change nothing if his brother doesn't drink with him anymore.
It changed nothing with my brother. Nothing at all. I've stripped the house of liquor when he comes and he simply brings his own.
- mmmLv 74 years ago
so - what you are saying is this: your husband is not strong enough to be around his family and best friend at this time because he has a drinking problem
if he chooses to drink - its on him - if he chooses to go around people who are drinking, its on him
the only real thing you can do is ask him to leave because obviously drinking is more important than his family and let him choose
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- LivinrawguyLv 74 years ago
You cannot make others not enjoy themselves your husband needs to gain some willpower here and he needs some rehab and to get into AA. If he knows he has a problem with alcohol and is not willing to stay away from it or in the least not consume it than maybe you have some choices to make here. Maybe time to end things not a good environment to raise a child around a drunk. Tell him he gets some help and gives up booze or your gone and taking the kid with you. I think you have been passed the ultimatum period for a long time and you know it. If anything his family should be helping get an intervention together not helping him get drunk.
- yLv 74 years ago
It is not his families responsibility to keep booze away from him, it is his and his alone. You are actually enabling him, blaming others for his choices. You can;t control him, the enviroment, the family. You can only control you and you have a choice. Live in the house you have built or leave. If you stay, nothing will change.
- Pat BrownLv 64 years ago
There is nothing anyone can do to stop his drinking. He has to decide on his own. They are enabling him, it is true, but it is easy to slip into co-dependency with an alcoholic.
The responsibilities of being a parent have overwhelmed his judgment and self control and limited maturity. Your best hope is to face the facts, leave him and start making a healthy life for yourself and your child. Perhaps he will wake up, perhaps not.
This is not a little thing. it is in the early stages of an alcoholic life pattern. It almost always worsens over time. If you don't heed the warnings here, in time you will look back and regret not understanding what we are trying to tell you.
- Anonymous4 years ago
There is nothing you can do other than ask them not to offer him alcohol, but clearly they don't see a problem with his drinking, so it's not likely to make a difference.
You should seek out a local chapter of Al-Anon (support group for friends and loved ones of alcoholics). That would give you a place to talk with others, who can relate to what you're going through, and may be able to offer practical advice. Ultimately, you may have to decide between staying with an alcoholic husband, or leaving him (if he continues to reject seeking help or stopping drinking).
I was married to an alcoholic years ago. He was not someone I wanted to be around, when he was drinking.Source(s): http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
- Orla CLv 74 years ago
I think that you should just take your children and leave. You've told him time and time again that his drinking is an issue, he won't do what you ask, so it's time to just go and save yourself.
- Anonymous4 years ago
It's all up to him . Maybe threatening to leave him for a while would open his eyes . Or maybe you actually have to then he will stop because he'd obviously choose you over drinking . Or maybe when he's drinking one day and won't stop after you tell him to , tell him you can't deal with the drinking anymore the go to your friend house for a couple of nights to wait for him to beg you to come back . That's all I can think of .