Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 years ago

I should pay more because I earn more money?

In the early day, the man earns the money and the wife takes care of the kids. In that time, the wife s only income is the man s bank account. Nowadays, both gender are working, so naturally both should equally contribute to the family, right? Now, I m (f) gonna earn more money than my future husband, so he thinks I m gonna have to pay more, because I earn more. If we re being logical, that s the rational behaviour.... but the traditional part of me still wants the man to be the main provider. What do you think?

36 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    yeah

  • 4 years ago

    He's right dummy. If you share money, share a household, share bills (as you should be) then the money becomes both of yours as soon as you make it. One person doesn't get to live the luxurious life while their spouse struggles. What the hell is wrong with you? I make more, so a higher percentage of what I earn goes to pay our bills. At the end of the day, we are both left with the same. We make our money decisions together.

    How will this backfire on you when you are a stay at home mom? If if you go down to part-time to be a mother.? Think about how you would want it to be then.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I think you should share the money, yes all you both earn. I think he should stay at home if you have children, you should pump and make the milk he should feed it to the little one via the bottle. Just makes more sense financially. I do not think your kid would suffer not actually sucking on the boob, as long as he's got a loving daddy to hold him and good quality milk mommy made.

    I think I would never have a child and leave it to my husband before it was two, lol I adore my husband, but I'd want to feed that little sucker throuhg my breast for two years, lol

    I am also thinking that you are silly and immature for seeking a traditional role of the man earning more, so you should consider some therapy (talking therapy is a good way to improve our quality of life, it's for everyone), but as long as you feel this way, do not marry a guy who earns less, you are setting your marriage up for failure.

    Fix your thinking, or get a man who earns more than you.

    Doesn't matter what I think, you are the one getting married here.

  • Tara
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    HE .. should do what a man does (and is supposed to do) ... take care of his wife.

    He should do the honorable thing -- leave the money out of it ... he should pay.

    Money cannot make a good man - only his integrity can do that.

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  • 4 years ago

    Those that earn more should put more in the pot. These goes for the wealthy in paying taxes ! That is purely biblical !

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    "both should equally contribute to the family, right?" - Both "should" discuss and agree upon how much each contributes financially. Not all couples choose to do it the same way.

    I think you need to throw the 'traditional' idea out the window, as it doesn't apply anymore. Women earned the right to work and earn a decent wage, which means we stopped depending on men to support us financially (in general). Having a penis should not obligate a person to support their spouse or contribute more toward bills in a marriage. Income and expenses for the couple, should be the deciding factors.

    If you two don't choose to pool all your income and pay bills/expenses from that (which would remove the 'who should pay more' issue totally), then either decide each of you will contribute "X" amount of dollars to a joint account, from which joint expenses are paid OR base the amount that goes into the joint account on % of income (which would actually be the more fair of those 2 options).

  • P
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    If you ever want to be a true equal to your husband you can't selfishly pick the things you like out of old traditions and abandon the things you don't like. There's a number of ways to manage money, I prefer the 3 account method. Two bank accounts for your paychecks and one joint account for the bills. Then each of you makes a large deposit to contribute for the bills. The person who makes more contributes more, big purchases are still considered jointly. Its important to not play money games with your husband, since that's how love gets destroyed and divorces happen. Be generous, understand the money you make and the decisions you decide as a couple will determine how successful you both are.

  • 4 years ago

    Be reasonable . Take all things in consideration. Make an estimate of cost and who pays what. If you earn considerably more you may consider contribute more. You are both the parents and you want to be fair to each other and set the right example to your children. Try to solve the problem in a calm and peaceful way

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    My son and his GF live in Austin - he is a Brit and she is USA woman. They started dating and decided to move in together. He is a PhD Math researched at the University and she work for a charity that provide teacher to deprived schools. So he earn 4x what she earns. When she moved in she was worried that the share of the house would be more than she was paying where she was sharing with 2 other women. But my son said that did not seem fair as if she paid 50% it was (1) More than she could really afford and (2) not really fair based on the fact they earned salaries with big differences. So they came up with a pro rata arrangement where they paid a percentage based on what their salaries were so a 20% for her and 80% for him as that was the relative salary differences.

    Now they are 31(son) and 27(GF) so younger. I am 61 my wife 60 and she worked as a nurse and when we married she said she wanted to "bring up her sons" so I became the bread winner and provided 100% salary and she did the house maker elements and the deal worked out well for the last 39 years. Now I have taken early retirement - so my level of household chore has risen to try to be as near as 50/50 as we can get. Its all down to what you and your partner want out of life - we have a partnership marriage one for all and all for one type arrangement, but modern couples, with prenups and the like, are more financially savvy especially given that most marriage don't seem to have the 39 year longevity that my wife and I have managed (so far). If you want traditional like my wife and I then you partner needs to know this and understand that he /she will need a job that pays a household cumulative salary that you would both be able to achieve if you were both working. That's what I had to achieve and early on my wife helped by nursing and supporting me through University so I could achieve the salary that was needed.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    What are you going to do? Go out to dinner and tell him he can't have steak but you can because you make more money? Are you going to buy yourself an expensive car, but expect him to drive a junker? That's really logical.

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