Be honest, does having kids ruin your marriage?

I honestly can't see how it wouldn't, because you don't have time for each other anymore.Most married couple with kids that I know are like platonic roommates. I feel like kids are like little intruders in your relationship.

43 Answers

  • 4 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well your asking for honesty here the is the first problem no parent is actually going to come out and say having their kid/kids ruined their marriage. However truth be told most parents after having kids say many times they wish they could turn back the clock cause life was so much easier and peaceful and cheaper before the rugrats came along.

  • 4 years ago

    Yes, get a dog instead.

  • 4 years ago

    Being born sterile I don't have such blessings but truly life is all about choices. So don't blame the kids !

  • 4 years ago

    Certainly can.

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  • Tara
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    Lots of people say they will have children to help make their marriage work ... however, children are more responsibility - a huge commitment that takes lots of time, money, and responsibility -- having children will not help a marriage that is ruin.

    A marriage should be worked out before having children.

  • 4 years ago

    I don't think it ruins your marriage. If anything it should make it happier with the lovely children that you would have. My husband and I have a baby and it's the most amazing thing that happened to us. It's a stuggle sometimes trying to get things done but it did not ruin our marriage it just made it better.

  • 4 years ago

    The only good thing that came from my marriage was my two boys. It's not kids that are bad. It's women.

  • 4 years ago

    It can. But I think a lot of it depends on how you handle things.

    I'm a stepmom. My husband and I have been together since his son was 2. It was great at first, but as his son gets older (he's now 10) it has put a strain on our marriage, mostly because his son gets into a lot of trouble at school, I'm more authoritarian (just how I was raised) and my husband has issues disciplining his own child. We have his son every other weekend, so I get to see both sides. When it's just us: wedded bliss. When his son is over: everything revolves around the child, his bad grades, his bad behavior, everything.

    For the past 8 years, anytime I say anything like this, I get criticized "You knew what you were getting into." To which I call bullsh*t. You can't compare a toddler to a tween... You have no idea what a child is going to grow into until they do. The sweet toddler who used to give me constant hugs is now a tween with a severe attitude problem.

    Now, I do agree when people say "it's different when it's your own kids" because you have some degree of control when it comes to behavior, etc.

    All in all, I think if you work together, communicate, and are on the same team when it comes to raising children, you'll be fine. My husband and I have each other's back. If we disagree with what the other is doing, that disagreement happens away from his son. He only sees a unified front. There's no chance for his son to unwittingly pit us against each other.

  • 4 years ago

    All of what you say is true. But typically, that 'roommate' situation is temporary and you need to make a conscious effort not to be just roommates. "Yeah, I know you're tired, but this is important." It doesn't have to be the gymnastics that you became accustomed to before the kids. Sometimes it is just lazy lovemaking, expending little energy, but getting the job done and reinforcing that connection.

    Too, as my wife has told me a couple of times, there were moments, quite literally, when having the kids was the only thing that kept us married. If not for them, she's told me...and I agree...we'd be divorced.

  • 4 years ago

    Your observations are incorrect. There is no question that babies put a pinch on the normal married life, but doesn't ruin anything but a bunch of disposable diapers. One thing about babies is that they grow into little people and when they do they can make life together even more enjoyable than before. The problem is that it takes patience to get through the baby years that some don't have.

  • 4 years ago

    no it changes the type the realtionship , it is true it adds some constraints but it gives you reason to go on

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