Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 years ago

Do you agree with separate bedrooms in a marriage?

I am 26 years old and my wife is 37--even though we connect on so many emotional levels, our interests and personal habits clash. I personally find her tastes and interests to be too drab and conservative for my taste, therefore I have my own separate bedroom where I can still personalize my own interests--movie posters, fantasy creature collection figures, etc...and of course I can stay up late till whenever practicing on my e-guitar or keyboard (with headphones!), or working on programming projects (sometimes I'll get a really good idea in the middle of the night and hop on my computer!). Anything without her getting pissy about trying to read her book or sleep!

Although we do everything together as a family (she has a 7 year old daughter) she still gets on my case about the separate bedroom issue, saying that a married couple should have one bedroom, period. I'm not seeing how it is creating any kind of wedge or distance, the passion is still the same--what do you think about separate bedrooms in a marriage?

41 Answers

  • 4 years ago

    I do not agree with separate bedrooms in a marriage. It sounds like you basically went from one mom to the next. If you're not ready to be in a relationship with a woman, let her go and you can spend all your time building the relationship with your own interests.

    Personally, I don't see this relationship working out, especially if you don't want to put in the effort.

  • kim
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    Your lack of passion to sleep with your wife will end your marriage. Work out your problems in your marriage bed. Or she will find greener pastures. Lots of times women want passion to come from cuddling. Hows that comfort going to happen from another room. Your crazy

  • 4 years ago

    Hey what works for some may not work for others. It really just depends on the people in the relationship or in your case, marriage. It doesn't really seem like a big deal to me. I don't believe just because you get married you have to be the same person and like the same things. Be your own person and like what you like. Its good to be a little different. But my concern isn't the fact about the separate bedrooms but the fact that its conflicting your wife which could definitely lead to some problems.

  • 4 years ago

    No never, when we marry, man and wife are supposed to cleve," two people are to become one flesh " !!!

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  • 4 years ago

    That's what age gaps do. You're still immature and love your space. Well that's not bad in a way, you can have your own space but not call it a bedroom. How about fun entertainment /work office room?

    WITHOUT A BED!! you should sleep in the same bed if your husband and wife. Unless you're friends...

  • Tara
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    I agree with what each person wants.

    If there is no same agreement - then a compromise should be met.

    I think separate bedrooms are ok -- if that is what they want.

    I also think that if the one partner who DOES want to sleep in the separate bedroom is MADE to sleep in the bedroom with the other person who does not want separate bedroom - a lot of resentment could be made.

    The person should never be made to do this.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    most couples do sleep in separate bedrooms, for reasons of snoring, ect, and 90 percent of marriages are sexless anyway

  • 4 years ago

    I agree with your wife. I think it's important for a guy to have a place to pursue his interests but not to sleep separate from his wife. Sleeping apart is simply not a good idea because it farther separates a couple. The only thing you two have in common is going out doing family things but there are two separate lives the rest of the time. I seems to me you would be just as happy with out a wife.

  • 247
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    One HUGE aspect of marriage is for each person to put aside their own selfish desires/wants/needs and share. Each must place the other persons feelings above their own. If both people are committed to doing this it will produce a much happier and healthier marriage. Remember, marriage is about oneness... not selfishness. Each of you have some growing to do and must learn to compromise in every area. This will produce growth. The fact that there is a 11 year age gap should not be a huge issue if you are both mature, level headed people, and are serious about your communication and compromising skills. Being an adult does not mean you have to be boring, but it also doesn't mean you must have movie posters and a fantasy creature collection swallow up an entire bedroom. Choose a few pieces to accent your home and allow some sophistication and clever designs to be a part of your marital bedroom or living space. Remember.... you are one! So, connect and have your different tastes combined to produce a unique, new and exciting space that you both will love. It's not cool to have separate bedrooms when your married when one of the major benefits of marriage is intimacy.

  • 4 years ago

    hey if it suits you , then why not...

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