Suffering with social anxiety to the point of feeling suicidal unless I find a way to get rid of my social anxiety?

Most people who will read this question will probably have no idea what social anxiety feels like. I have an extreme case of it, so that means I basically have to face my fear everyday just to go out into a social setting. When I walk into a area with people (even my family) I suffer through feelings of extreme... show more Most people who will read this question will probably have no idea what social anxiety feels like. I have an extreme case of it, so that means I basically have to face my fear everyday just to go out into a social setting.

When I walk into a area with people (even my family) I suffer through feelings of extreme insecurity with how I walk, how I move, how I look, how I sound, where I look, if I look like a weirdo/crazy person or not, how I do things. I constantly feel like I am being talked about, and looked at/judged negatively. I'm pretty much petrified the whole time while navigating in stores (public), so I rarely go out. I get very lonely because of this evil disorder.

I've been trying to kill my social anxiety for years, but I end up fooling myself, and get no where. I've tried boosting my subconscious confidence for years, and have a positive outlook on everything, but yet, I still deal with this horrible disorder that I just want to destroy... I've been through years of therapy, so I know all of the tools to overcome this, but its not easy at all. My therapist tells me that the only way to overcome it, is to go out and socialize, so thats no help.

The core of this disorder is from extreme insecurity and confidence in oneself (regarding social settings)

Otherwise, I'm a pretty confident person in my abilities, but socially, I'm a wreck. I NEED to boost my social self confidence, and actually feel confident with how I am as a person, and who I am as a person.
Update: I know I am a good person, but I don't feel confident as a person and feel very insecure when being around people, or interacting with people. That's the difference
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