How to deal with a death of a pet?
My dog recently got diagnosed with kidney stone, my vet said it will cost me over 7000 for surgery, care, and antibiotics. I dont have that kind of money so i ask if there was another option. The vet said the only other option was to let her go. I told the vet that letting her go would probably be the best instead of having her to suffer everyday. I started balling up and my vet felt soo bad for me that she told me there was another option. I can give up my ownership privilage and they can try their best to help her. I was soo thankful that my vet offered me this. I accepted the offer but im still very sad because i feel empty without her around the house, and if the surgery goes bad, i wouldn't even know that she died. I really want another dog but i know i will never look at them the same way i looked at her. Ive never had to go through this pain so if there's any help you guys can give me i really appreciate it.
- GllntKnightLv 73 years agoFavorite Answer
Sorry for your loss. Everyone grieves differently and requires a different amount of time.
Loved ‘Til Their Last Day
This is a discussion of a very sensitive topic that elicits powerful emotions. Just stay with me ’til the end, it’s important. We’ll get through this together, I promise.
We’ve all reached the crossroads (or will eventually) when your dog can no longer do what you ask of them, or you can no longer commit to the level of ownership you once promised them. Maintaining optimum health in aging and/or terminal pets often means more treatment—more bills.
You made a promise to each other: together ’til the end. But what happens when life forces you to break that promise?
Everyone at some point in time will be impacted by the unforeseen—job loss, divorce, loss of a family member, medical catastrophes, etc.—no one is immune. And dogs, as much as we will fight to the death to defend their status as more than just property, are simply a luxury hobby for many of us that sometimes we can no longer afford, even if through no fault of our own. We’ve always been a good home—a forever home—but this year it might be the dog, or the house.
We all wish we had endless amounts of money.
We all wish we had access to unlimited land.
We all wish we had friends willing and able to take your dog in.
We all wish our local rescues had endless resources and were not already filled to capacity.
But not everyone is afforded such luxuries and we all know how unpredictable life can be.
As pet owners, we are ultimately responsible for what happens beyond this crossroads. A good retirement home is not always guaranteed, so we are often left to ask someone else to take our dog in.
Occasionally it works out, but other times it’s just a burden you transfer to someone else, which is unfair to them and the dog.
We’ve all read the horror stories about the “free dog” listings online. A stranger comes by, tells you a nice tale about the dog they just lost and are hoping to replace for their kids. They show you pictures of their lovely property with lots of land and ’round the clock care. Then they haul that piece of your heart away. A few months later you check in. Text after text, call after call, emails and pleas for responses and updates go unanswered. He’s vanished. It hits you hard and you try not to think about where he might have ended up; perhaps used as a bait dog across the border, sold for a few dollars? Doesn’t that just make you sick? By a few dollars should never be how you measure your dog's life and it certainly can’t be the measure by which your dog dies. But that’s the risk you take when you give up ownership.
So what can you do besides giving your dog away to strangers when friends or retirement homes are not an option?
Create a Local Dog Community Network
No dog person should be alone. A local dog network will come in handy when you need a vehicle fixed, or to re-home a dog. This network might even crowd source funding for dog food if you’ve fallen on hard times. You don’t have to be alone in times of medical and/or financial distress.
Visit the local rescue groups and learn how to spot potential bait dog buyers. They know the area and have the experience of the good ones vs the bad ones, and could potentially provide pictures and frequent aliases of the known offenders in the area.
Ideally, you will find him a trusting, loving home.
Passing the burden
Dogs need a job. Sometimes their job is simply to just be cuddled by people with the resources and desire to give them a safe landing and a long, happy retirement. Sadly, there is only so much space. Even if it’s just playing fetch around a yard a few times a year, a dog needs to be consistently healthy enough for even a small job.
When a dog can no longer perform the job or stay healthy, he is at risk of being re-homed. If he can’t, and you just give him away, you’ve just burdened someone else with that problem.
Did you know some dog rescues often bid on dogs at auction knowing that dogs will not get adopted out? It’s called a compassion pull—they buy the dog out of the auction pipeline, and out of the bait dog pipeline. They are spending money they don’t have to do what the previous owner should have done. They are buying the dog to give it a soft landing, a safe place to eat and be out of danger for a little while before giving them a peaceful passing. To purchase the dog at auction (roughly $50), a vet assessment to determine the next course of action ($35) and if necessary, euthanasia and disposal ($75); you’re up to almost $150 to put down a dog. That’s money that could have been spent helping an adoptable dog.
That’s why in certain instances the best option might very well be to give the dog a humane conclusion to a life well lived.
What?! How Dare I Make such a suggestion!
Euthanasia is an emotionally charged word and downright taboo to talk about it certain circles. But it’s also a hard reality for any animal lover. Sometimes, in my opinion, it’s the best option. You can send the dog to pound, or have him re-homed, and suddenly his welfare is out of your hands. Is he in pain? Safe? Suffering? Losing weight? Cold? Shivering? Neglected? Underfed? Sometimes you do need to quantify your dog in terms of dollars and realize that, as callous as it sounds, if you are unable to justify keeping this dog anymore do not expect someone else to value him either (except, maybe, by selling it for a few dollars to be used as a bait dog.)
Our dogs deserve better than that. They all deserve to be valued until the last moments of their lives by the value they gave to us over a their lifetime.
Make it the last item on the list of options, which should not include giving him away on Craigslist to a stranger, or sending him off to the pound.
Some people might look at you as the bad guy, but you’re not. Think of how much better off that dog will be if he never comes close to getting in the wrong hands.
A loving home can also be a final home
You have control over him in life. You owe it to him to have control over his death, on your terms, in your loving arms, with your tears on his cheek. Because that is what they deserve—nothing short of a loving home on his very last day. With you.
Schedule that last day, have a party. Give him anything he’s ever wanted. A bucket full of raw meat/marrow bones. Eating straight out of your hand.
It’s downright uncomfortable to talk about and anticipate the emotions that come with euthanasia.
Let your love and compassion and commitment to your dog be the peaceful end to a glorious life you two shared together. You are a good home, be a last home as well.
You know the right thing, when all other options are exhausted, is euthanasia. You just don’t want to say it out loud so I’m saying it out loud for you. Lay them to rest peacefully. Honor their life by loving them until their last day.
- LorraineLv 73 years ago
I'm finding it odd that a vet said they'd take this dog on anyway ??? Where are they going to put the dog once she is well. Vets do not normally take in and rehome.
Get another opinion and another quote.
- Elaine MLv 73 years ago
Second opinion from a different vet clinic.
AND ask if there's a veterinary teaching hospital in your state that may take the case on for low cost.
- AuthoritahLv 43 years ago
Your vet is ripping you off!
Find somewhere else. ..
Get a loan
you gave your dog to your vet?
Red flag. Look up stories about what typically happens to the dogs that the owners sign over
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- Star_of_DarknessLv 73 years ago
Go to a diff vet. There's no way in hell it will ever cost 7,000$ for a kiddney stone
- TjLv 73 years ago
see another vet. this just does not sound right.