Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 5 years ago

Would chatting sexually on Facebook and doing stuff with women be considered cheating if you are married?

I've met 3 women that do this but I'm married. I want an honest opinion from people about if this is considered cheating?

27 Answers

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  • .
    Lv 7
    5 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    "chatting sexually on Facebook and doing stuff " - Would you be okay if your spouse were 'chatting sexually and doing stuff' with other men? Remember, something doesn't have to be labeled as cheating, to be devastating to a relationship.

    Sex chat isn't cheating (if no emotional attachment) in my opinion, but that does not mean I'd be okay with my partner doing it.

    As for 'doing stuff', you'd have to elaborate on that. Doing what kind of 'stuff'? That's a super broad phrase which could mean anything.

    A good rule of thumb is: Don't do anything you wouldn't be okay with your partner doing AND don't do anything you wouldn't be okay with your partner seeing/hearing you do. So, if you wouldn't want your spouse looking over your shoulder and reading your sex chat with another woman, don't do it. If you wouldn't want your spouse having a similar type of sex chat with another man, don't do it.

    Few people in monogamous relationships, would be okay with their significant other sexting or having cyber sex with someone else. Unless your spouse has specifically said they're okay with it, don't do it. If you're willing to risk your marriage to talk dirty to some other chick, you shouldn't be in that marriage.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Unfortunately for you, and even more so for your wife, this kind of behaviour is something that hints at a larger problem in your relationship. If things were really hunky-dory, there wouldn t need to be any of this carry on, and you re probably fairly addicted to it by now.

    We all know what you re doing, and even though it seems harmless and at arm's length from your 'real' life, it is actually as big a problem for you both as if you had a mistress in your marital bed. Just because what s happening is virtual does not mean that you are any less complicit in carrying on in a - what shall we say? - provocative, sexual dialogue with these women that probably ends in physical reward for at least one of you. As other posters have said, if it was your wife shivering with pleasure at some other dude s sex chat, how would that make you feel? If you still think what you're doing isn t cheating my friend, then you need to have a long serious word with yourself.

  • 5 years ago

    The mere fact that you engage in this is a sign that you have a serious problem in your marriage. I suggest you talk to your wife and seek councelling. Whether you both participate in this kind of action is beside the point. What is important is that you have a craving for more than what you have in your marriage and that need to be addressed. When needs for this arise it means there is a yearning for something that is not readily available. Take it from someone who knows, if it has not yet influenced your marriage it will in future and you have to decide which is more important, your marriage or these "relationships". Work on it! Good Luck

  • ?
    Lv 5
    5 years ago

    yes, there are boundaries that a married person should not cross and chatting sexually with anyone else is cheating even if it never gets physical. There is emotional cheating too.

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  • 5 years ago

    How would you like it if you wife was chatting with another man and talking about sex. Talking about it leads to wanting it. It's like saying hey I wouldn't mind having some food right now and If you keep talking about it you will eventually go get some. A preacher once said something very important to me years ago. "Deception is very subtle b/c it causes you to doubt the truth." Meditate on that

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Yeah, I would consider it cheating. If your wife doesn't know about it, if she would be hurt to find out and if you are hiding it, it's cheating. Bottom line is, how would YOU feel if your wife was doing the same?

  • 5 years ago

    While it's not exactly cheating, you really shouldn't be having conversations like that when you're married. Think of it like this, if your wife was doing that with other men would you be upset?

  • 5 years ago

    Yes

  • ?
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    As far as I'm concerned it isn't cheating until there is real, full contact, PIV sex. Until then it's entertainment. Just like her watching movies with Clooney or her "heartthrob" in them.

  • 5 years ago

    YES. Unless you share your desires to do that with your spouse. Your spouse is part of your life and you are excluding a very important and intimate part of yourself from your spouse....it is cheating and may hurt your spouse down the road.

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