My dad said I was ugly?

You may find this stupid or you may not, but regardless please help.

So I was simply standing in my house's study room, minding my own business, when suddenly my dad tells me to look at him, so I do. He looks at me and like studies my facial features, so I ask him: "what?"

My mom interjects and says, "she's beautiful, isn't she?"

He replies: "Most of the time, she looks like she has fallen down the ugly tree and gotten hit by some branches, but she doesn't look so bad right now."

I am sixteen years old. Yes, of course I care about my appearance. It may be shallow, but I do nonetheless. In the past year I have come to be very comfortable and happy with what I look like. Usually, if some random or even someone I know says I am ugly, I brush it off, because I couldn't care less what they think.

But as soon as my dad said it, it struck a cord inside of me and now I have been on and off crying for at least an hour. It just really hurts. I mean, I am his damn child. I should be beautiful to him regardless of what I look like.

Does anyone have any advice to help me manage and get over this?

5 Answers

Relevance
  • VA 25
    Lv 4
    4 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    ok. First. Let me share with you this ONE SOLID TRUTH about men: they are stupid. oh honey, they are so so stupid.

    Women are born with this natural ability to know what another person could be feeling inside or what they might need to hear. And they *especially* know how sensitive a 16 year old girl is.....*especially* about her looks!!!!

    Your dad? He was probably, honestly looking at you because you are so pretty! Seriously. If you were actually ugly, he would tiptoe around the ugly-issue and NEVER never say anything. But he was trying to be funny (stupid) by saying that old-man joke about the "ugly tree". ugh.

    Just try to remember that he is your DAD ( a MAN), so he's going to say stupid stuff to cover up how he is *truly* feeling for the rest of your life. Some day, when he is about to walk you down the aisle, he'll probably be bursting with pride and amazed at how beautiful you are....

    But what will he SAY??? "you sure you want to marry the bum? we could always get outta here and go camping...since you look ready to do outdoorsy stuff".

    sigh. men.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I had a sarcastic father, too.

    I still remember the only compliment he ever gave me. It was summer. I'd been driving my mother's car back and forth to work a lot since he put brand new tires on it. He said, "You're not hard on tires." Seriously, it was the only compliment he gave me in 49 years.

    Old men love the ugly tree joke. It's not that funny, and neither is judging people according to their physical beauty.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    It sounds like you dad just thinks he is way more funny than he is and is just waiting for a chance to use overused and lame expressions.

  • 4 years ago

    I'm sure that you are very pretty. Your Dad was very mean to say that to you. Don't pay any attention to him. He owes you an apology. :)

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • ?
    Lv 5
    4 years ago

    Being concerned about your appearance does not necessarily qualify you as being shallow. We must be concerned about our overall well-being, which includes our physical self. However, as long as you do not allow this one aspect of your existence to pervade who you are, then you are not superficial.

    As far as the remark which your father had addressed toward you, that is hurtful. I have no clue as to how you do appear, so I will not judge as to the validity of his statement. However, if you do know what you are worth, then you will either dismiss his statement as being callous or you will take it as constructive criticism to improve whatever aspect of yourself needs improving in order to contribute to the totality of your individuality.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.