? asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 4 years ago

Should I bring a date if I am a groomsman?

One of my best friends is getting married this summer and he asked me to be one of his groomsman. I am not the best man. I am not currently seeing anyone but I don't know if I should bring a date. I have a few people I can ask either as a friend or whatever, but I'm more concerned of etiquette. Am I expected to bring a date if I am not in a serious relationship. Also the bridesmaids are either married or I'm not interested in them or haven't met them before. Any advice on proper etiquette on this topic would be appreciated. Also if anyone has useful tips for a groomsman that would be appreciated too.

19 Answers

  • 4 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    If your invitation says "Mr. John Smith And Guest/Plus One," then you are permitted to bring a date if you wish.

    If your invitation just says "Mr. John Smith," then you are not permitted to bring a date.

    In either case, you are never "expected" to bring a date or hook up with someone at the wedding. You're there to support your friend. Your friend's wedding is not a dating service.

    Furthermore, if you're a groomsman and you're not in a serious relationship right now, then personally (assuming you're even invited to bring a guest) I wouldn't bring a new girl to this wedding. If she doesn't know anyone then it could be awkward for her. As a groomsman you'll be taking photos and standing in the ceremony, and at some weddings the bridal party members are seated away from their guests (I actually haven't seen this done in years, but I digress). And bringing someone to a wedding as your date can be a BIG statement about your relationship, so I wouldn't take a girl on a first or second date to your good friend's wedding where you won't even be able to spend much time with her.

  • Paula
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    A groomsman is never EXPECTED to bring a date.

    As everyone else has said, if your invitation says something like "John and guest" then you *may* bring a date, but it's not expected or required.

    In my experience, you're usually pretty busy on the day as a bridesmaid/groomsman, so it's inadvisable to bring a date unless she's your steady girlfriend. She'll be without you a lot of the day.

  • 4 years ago

    You are ONLY allowed to bring a date if your invitation says " 1" or "and guest." If it doesn't, you don't get to bring anybody.

    If you do get to bring someone...

    You aren't currently seeing someone. Don't bring a friend unless your friend will know a lot of people who will be there. The date of a groomsman is going to be dateless the majority of the night. You'll be helping the groom get ready. You'll be off taking pictures. If there's travel involved, you'll be with the bridal party so she'll be alone. You may be sitting with the bridal party not with her. You'll probably also have groomsman duties - making sure Uncle Johnny doesn't get too sloshed, making sure that one bridesmaid doesn't run off with someone, helping Grandpa G to the bathroom because he can't make it up the stairs, etc. If you have a date, she'll be alone a lot, so you better make sure she knows more people there or is good at entertaining herself.

    Honestly, the best thing is to go solo. That way you aren't worried about whether your date has a good time, and you're free to flirt with all the cute bridesmaids and cousins of the bride in from out of town.

  • Blunt
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    Look at your invitation.

    If it says Mr. John Smith, then you are to go alone. If it says "Mr. John Smith and guest", then you can bring a date.

    No, you are not "expected" to bring random strangers to a wedding, unless your invitation specifically says that you are invited with a guest. When you are a groomsman, you will be very busy doing wp stuff, riding with the couple, sitting at their table, taking pics etc. and there will be very little time to tend to other people.

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  • 4 years ago

    Honestly, if you don't have a steady girlfriend, don't bring someone to this event. Your date would have to sit alone during the ceremony and while you were involved in pictures and various other duties. It would not be fun for that person.

    As an aside, no one should ever assume they are entitled to bring a guest unless they have received an invitation that includes the terms "plus one" or "and guest."

  • 4 years ago

    Since you don't have anyone special at the moment, you would do best to plan to go stag. You should be busy doing things for the groom, with the other attendants, and the reception would actually be a great place to meet women. Nowhere in there would you be able to give your guest the attention they should be given - so unless you already have a partner who would essentially go to support you, it would be far better to just be there and do the things groomsmen do- you will have plenty of fun,and perhaps even more.

  • 4 years ago

    The only time I would personally bring a date is if I was married or in a relationship. Guess I'm saying, it's better to go alone. I don't think the bridesmaids are expected to bring dates, although they can. Who knows, one of those bridesmaids might be your future soul mate. I know a guy who met his wife in this fashion. Makes sense, because you are probably similar to your friend, and the bridesmaids are probably similar to his fiancee, whom he loves.

  • S
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    You need to be asking the bride and groom if they have included a date for you on the guest list numbers. No you can not if there is a dinner and a plus 1 is not included on your invitation. You will never know unless you ask but beware your time will be spent with the groom and taking pictures etc. you will not have time for a date except to sit and eat if there is a dinner reception.

  • P
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    If your invitation says "and Guest" you can bring one, but it's considered a little rude if it's not somebody you are in a serious relationship with. On top of it you probably won't be able to spend much time with them anyway being involved in the wedding party.

  • 4 years ago

    I think you should bring a date, and i also think it kinda normal? But of course you would have to ask the bride/groom, so they know how many guests they are having, and just to be sure that they dont mind having someone "unknown" in their own wedding. But yes i do think you should bring a date:)

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