Struggling, trying to get over him, after 5 years but nothing has worked; not even prayers. Exhausted and rather be dead than feel this pain?

I'm in my mid 30s and feel stupid for even writing this but here goes. Me and this guy were friends for years and then it turned a bit more serious. We fell in love. However, both of us are difficult and controlling so neither of us wanted to let our guard down for it to develop into something really serious. We hurt e..ach other but ultimately the hurt I caused him lead to us not talking anymore. He kept throwing how badly I hurt him, in my face.

Our "relationship" started in 2011 and went downhill in 2013, however I consider 2011, until now as a waste of time and heartbreak. That's why I said it's been 5 yrs, in my question. I've accepted that we're not meant for each other; obviously bc if we were, we'd be together. But I am not over him and don't know how to move forward.

I've done the following: Dated others, picked up new hobbies, worked on myself, cried and prayed. Nothing works. I heard his name the other day and my stomach dropped and heart started beating fast. That's how I know it's bad. It's never taken me this long to get ovwr somebody. My avg is usually a few months. For 5 yrs I've thought about him nonstop and the pain is unbearable. So what's wrong? I've done everything you're supposed to do to get over someone but it hasn't worked. Now what?

3 Answers

  • happy
    Lv 4
    4 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well You love him, and you maybe always will!. There will always be someone that you will seriously just have that feeling for and love for.

    Moving on is always hard I know, but I guess you just need to find that other person, my guess is that yeah your trying to move on but you still love this other guy, which means your looking for him in other guys or bits of him in other guys. You won't find him in anyone else.

    My advice is: maybe try getting in touch with him, catch up or something see if anything is still there.

    Because it seems like your still holding onto something, and if that's the memory's remember you will always have them. Or if it's the feeling he gave you that you haven't felt from anyone else yet..

    Trust me your find someone else but don't rush it! I know you have already heard this but, look for different things in guys try dating someone you wouldn't really go for?.

    I wish you well :)) Goodluck I hope I helped.

    • happy
      Lv 4
      4 years agoReport

      Your very welcome, and the funny thing is the same thing happened with me and my ex he was dating someone else & we would kinda always fall back in contact.. He said to me that we could have worked and we still could..
      I wish you luck :)) tho your find someone amazing I'm sure!.

  • Have you thought about talking with a preacher ? I say when you break up with a romantic partner, you should be single for two years, have a collection of boyfriends, advertise for a husband, take a trip your husband might not want to take, and do all the things your husband might not want you doing ( You have to use your common sense for that one ) . Good luck and I hope this helps .

    • Chris4 years agoReport

      .............I want to feel about him. However, after 5 yrs, I still have an intense love for him that hurts me everyday bc we can't be together. Thanks for answering.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    However you feel, remember that now is not always.

    You are not wrong to feel the is part of your


    It cannot feel that way now, but there are brighter days


    Keep yourself as busy as possible.

    You are in my prayers.

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