Natsumi asked in HealthMental Health · 5 years ago

Telling someone I self harm?

So, I really want to stop self harming, I've been doing it since I was eleven because everyone always told me I was fast and ugly so I believed them. I told my mom and brother and the school counselors but they don't care at all, my mom even jokes about it when a knife goes missing but she just left in the dishwasher (ex; oh one of the knives went missing, pearl must be slicing again then she laughs). I told one friend who was a chick that I wasn't currently doing it because she noticed a scar poking out of my sleeve. One of my guy friends found out on accident and he is now bribing me not to cut which is just staying me out more. I want to tell one of my best friends because he helped himself stop, I think he would understand the best and he wouldn't pull the bullshit cliche lines on me. The thing is, how do I tell him or even bring it up in conversation?

3 Answers

  • 5 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Honestly, other people just don't understand. just taking a look through yahoo answer responses about self harm that basically say 'you're stupid and need to stop' should be proof enough. Maybe your mom is really torn up about it, and humor is her way of coping with it. Maybe she thinks that if she laughs it off enough it will go away. Maybe you should tell her that you actually want help and want to stop and to do that you need support.

    As for cliche lines, people don't know any better. Don't blame them for it. I mean, think of what you were like before you started self-harming, think of how it would look to you. I know what I thought of it. It was weird and strange to me, and when someone opened up to me about doing it all I said was "I understand" (which I didn't) and "It gets better" (uuuuhhhhhhhhhg - ned I say more?)

    So...I think those people who are trying to bribe you mean well, but aren't what you need.

    You need someone who's been through it. I've actually been in your shoes. It took a lot of courage, but this is how I told my recovered self-harmer friend both that I was cutting and that I wanted her help: We were walking, I suddenly asked her how she stopped self-harming (subtle, I know), and she explained it, then when I kept pressing and getting more emotional she put two and two together and asked me if I was, and I said yes, and she immediately started suggesting ways she could help me.

    That's just my experience.

  • 5 years ago

    Talking to someone who shares your problem is a good idea. Just be honest with him and say that you understand what he's been going through and you've gone through the same. Then let him talk and you can join in when he asks questions.

  • 5 years ago

    Google self harming. Find out why you do it and how to stop.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.