does this sound like an okay plot summary (revised)?
With his blonde hair and bright green eyes, most people would say Tyler is an attractive young guy. He's smart, sensitive, and wise beyond his years. He can write poetry and play the guitar. He's the kind of guy any girl would love to be with. But life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. tyler grew up in intercity New York. His father was an abusive raging alcoholic and his mother worked 3 jobs just to support them. When he was 11 his father's abuse got out of hand and he was lucky to escape alive. Now in his 20's depression and anxiety take their toll on him. On top of that, his mother's cancer coming out of remission, life is seeming pretty bleak. That is until he meets Annie, A beautiful auburn haired girl. Tyler's charm and tender nature captivate her, and many others he comes in contact with. As their relationship grows, blessed with her unconditional love and support, he struggles to come to terms with the past and make a better life for himself.
is this something that would make you interesting in reading the story? How can i improve it? Please just dont say yes or no and give me some actual advice.
- FinleyLv 74 years agoFavorite Answer
All you're saying is this one-dimensional flat character is attractive and he's a nice guy who has a dysfunctional family life and he meets a nice girl.
Don't TELL me about Tyler, SHOW me.
TELL is: He's smart, sensitive, and wise beyond his years.
SHOW is: Tyler stays after school every day to manage a 4.0 grade point average. He spends his free time at an animal shelter as a volunteer instead of at home, dreaming one day of becoming a veterinarian.
When his father flies into a drunken rage one night, all of that changed. Because Tyler fought back. He never meant to kill his father, but at the time, it seemed to be the only way to stay alive.
Now in his 20's that night continues to haunt him. His father's death had been deemed a suicide and Tyler's new girlfriend has a shocking surprise--her father, a dedicated police detective, has found new evidence to prove it was murder.
See? Isn't that more interesting than just a pretty boy who's sensitive, and has issues meets a nice girl, yet he's depressed about his past.
Yours makes Tyler sound like a wuss going no where. A whiner.
But Tyler can be a lot more than that. He can be a haunted man with a secret to tell or to hide.
Which will he choose?
- Lib.rare.ianLv 74 years ago
As people have mentioned, in a summary of a book, nobody cares what the characters look like. They want to be quickly introduced to the main character, and learn the plot direction, with a hint of the mood. Too many adjectives and too much description are pointless. Cut the words to the bare, bleak bones, and see if the summary is still appealing.
- Madame MLv 74 years ago
Better. But . . . his mother "coming out of cancer remission"?? What does that mean???? If it means she's in remission, then why is he unhappy and bleak? If it means her cancer is coming back, SAY THAT. Don't twist us through a bunch of words.
Still a lot of vague stuff. Who, exactly, is he struggling against? Is this a bunch of boring, "sit on the bed crying until beautiful Annie pats him on the shoulder" crap? Is he one of those jerk heroes who is pulling a bunch of crap, and finally figures out the crap is counterproductive to a happy life? If so, please describe the crap succinctly.
Have you ever read the excellent Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase? She's got a hero with a crap life who is redeemed by a girl. The story is Dain's, but Jess is the viewpoint character for the most part.
The summary for that goes something like this:
In this regency romance, Jess meets the Marquess of Dain, a renowned rake, in an antique shop, and they haggle over a religious icon. Jess wins, but Dain is not defeated. He determines that he will have this woman and make her submit to his will. Jess has other plans. First of all, she's determined to rescue her brother from Dain's evil influence. She shoots him. Unexpectedly, they kiss while arguing over Bertie. Later, at a party, their passions get out of hand, and they are discovered almost having sex. Jess sues him for ruining her character, hoping to get her brother out of his clutches. But Dain turns things around by proposing marriage instead. But, because of Dain's struggles with the past, Dain fights low self-esteem during the marriage and refuses to consummate it. Jess seduces her new husband, and teaches him to accept his illegitimate son, and in doing so, he forgives himself for the boy he was. And they all live happily ever after with a baby on the way.
See? Include the exciting sexy bits of your story. If you don't have any exciting fights or seductions, then how in the heck does he come to terms with himself? Be specific, too, about everything.
"come to terms with the past" bleh. "make a better life for himself" hah! Tell us how exactly he does this!!! Stop using such vague, wishy-washy terms that could mean anything.
And you are wasting space with physical descriptions. Nobody's going to read a book because it features a blonde hero or a red-headed girl. It probably needs to be in the book. But in a summary? All you need is that fact that he's good-looking, but that's a mask that hides his scarred and twisted soul.
- DavidLv 74 years ago
Good Lord, no. You have less of a plot and more of a setting. Who gives a rat's sphincter what the kid looks like?
And, not it's called relapse. Not coming out of remission.
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- WhateverLv 74 years ago
Blonde hair and green eyes automatically makes someone attractive? Huh. News to me.