Married before or after ITB in the USMC? Leave after ITB?
My question is, when would the best time to get married be? I am heavily involved with a young lady and I m going to be marrying her. Before or after ITB. I have a 03xx contract. Should I marry her after ITB or after basic during ten day leave? Any help would be greatly appreciated by any marines.
- CenturioLv 65 years agoFavorite Answer
You will not be getting leave after ITB. You will be assigned to an Infantry battalion that is getting ready to deploy. You will likely get pre-deployment leave just before going out provided that you have enough leave days saved up after boot leave..
My advice would be to wait until after you have been in for a couple of years.
- MrsjvbLv 75 years ago
I would even go one further than Mr Blunt.
what until after your first DEPLOYMENT ( I will also accept a 1 year tour to Okinawa)
if she cannot handle either one of those, she;s not military spouse material.
ideally, not until SHE has a degree in hand and a solid prospect for a real job that can support herself without having to mooch on you.
- BluntLv 75 years ago
Get married after you are in your first duty station.
I used to work for a training post for the Army, Basic and AIT. On every-single-cycle there were love-struck teenagers desoerate to get married and that caused all sorts of problems, including, peniless "fiancees" showing up to the post demanding housing and saying that they Army is supposed to take care of them. Others, broke into goverment housing and got arrested, others thought it was a good idea to sneak into the barracks to live with their new husbands, sometimes with baby and dog in tow.
In some cases, the recruit had to be disciplined and others were kicked out because of it. Some had to acquire loans to send their fiancees home on a bus.
Now comes the kicker, others were desperate to get married between basic and ait or before going to the first duty stations.... Which made them just as desperate to get divorced at 18/19/20 years of age after either part of both have grown out of the relationship, or their sweeties got tired of waiting for all of 4-6 months. Guess what was the hottest bussiness outside post? Law offices, there were dozens of them right off post advetising their quickie divorces. My friend still works at that courthouse there and 90 percent of the divorce cases are privates.
Yes, they all thought it was not gonna happen to them, yes, they thought they were so mature, yes, they thought people were just "jealous" naysayers ... But it turns out, military life is hard, it is lonely and it is not easy to be away from family and friends and give up everything that you have known all of your life for you and you are never there. Teenagers mostly do not have any skills to endure such realities. Newlywed life is supposed to be fun but when your spouse is never there, is not fun. A lot of newlyweds are dissapointed because they expect their spouse to come home after 5 pm every day and honeymoon the weekends away, but it is not like that, there are money problems, culture shock, stress at work and you will come home late, go to training on weekends, holidays and anniversaries for weeks on end, and when you do go home you will find nothing but bitter fights and treats of leaving because you are at work. Then you will be that 19 year old private trying to get a divorce just like the others, and trying to figure out how to repay the goverment for all the damage she did to the goverment housing out of spite and pay for the px credit line she maxed out.
Then there is the third complication, when you just graduate from training, you are likely to be send overseas, that means a year or two away from the usa and your spouse/girlfriend will NOT be able to come with you. So there comes the angry fights, loneliness and misery again, resulting in yet another 19 year old in divorce court.
So, my advice: wait until you are done with training AND know what your next duty station is. Never before. Do not make her any promises and see how things go while you both are apart for a while. Chances are Either can find someone else or change their minds, so it is best to know before you get married if either of you is strong enough. If you make it, then get married, if not, then no skin off your back and no messy and expensive legal complications.
PS/ you might think that I am full of it, but this happened every single cycle with no fail.