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Is my character's reaction believable?

Hannah Green is raped and throughout the book she's trying to come to terms with what happened, and with what she's carrying. She became pregnant because of the rape, and decides to keep the child, even though she's sickened by the very ideal of bringing the child into this world.

In the beginning, she's the typical optimistic fifteen year old girl. After the rape she's become less trusting, especially towards her family excluding her brother.

A lot of events happen (her meeting Charlie and Bri - a married couple. Kevin - a potential love interest. And an old hermit named Lyle. The birth of Lyle junior, named after the hermit whom Hannah grew to have a close bond with throughout the story) and it eventually ends with her rapist getting out of prison due to lack of evidence.

He begs for forgiveness, but Hannah ruthlessly tells him no, that she could never forgive what he had done. That man had betrayed her trust and had ruined her of ever becoming close to another man.

Silas, the rapist, waits until she has turned her back then precedes to shoot himself, his body falling off the bridge they were on and into the freezing waters below. Hannah walks back home in a numb haze.

Hannah tells them what happened in a monotone, blank way, and breaks down, crying and laughing. She continues to ask why she's crying about him, why she's not happy after his suicide as she thought she would have been, but Joshua (her brother) can't answer them and stays silent throughout it all.

Update:

Is it believable or too far fetched?

Update 2:

Sorry, precedes should be PROCEEDS as someone so kindly pointed out.

6 Answers

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  • 5 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It CAN be believable if you portray it right. If you don't make the events makes sense, it won't be believable. You're going to have to describe why she wants to keep a baby she despises, how she's going to grow to care for it (I'm assuming you're going this route), her relationships with all the characters you mentioned, why her rapist would seek forgiveness and commit suicide, and you're going to have to rationalize her reactions at the end.

    If done right, I think this could be a very interesting story. If done wrong, however, you're probably going to get many heads shaken at you. I suggest looking up real stories of rape victims who kept their babies and/or had their rapists released from jail, the psychology of people in traumatic situations similar to your events, and former criminals seeking a new start.

  • Finley
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    lack of evidence? are you kidding?

    the child has the rapist's DNA, dear.

    that is 100% foolproof evidence.

    And since the "mother" is a 15 year old child, then it's rape for 100% sure because minors are off limits to having sex.

    Your story does not work.

    Also, WHY would the girl keep the baby if it sickens her to think about it? Makes no sense.

    And why say that Hannah is the bad one by being "ruthless" and saying no to forgiveness? Are you taking the side of the rapist? That's twisted.

    PRECEDES? No. Bad spelling. PROCEEDS is correct.

    If Hannah is so not trusting anymore, how does she form a close bond with a hermit? So much that she named the baby after him? Makes no sense.

    Honestly, your story has too many holes.

    It's fiction yes, but still needs to make sense.

    The characters as is are flat and unbelievable.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Zakle5 years agoReport

      And, as I've recently come to find out, mothers will sometimes face legal troubles. In most US states, the rapist maintains parental rights. They allow rapists to have custody and visitation rights over children conceived through rape. Now, you want to call me sick? Have a look at this government.

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  • 5 years ago

    I don't think she should be laughing, unless she actually has psychosis or an ACTUAL mental problem/disability. Yes, mental trauma can induce wild behavior but it just doesn't seem to click? I know personally how traumatic rape/sexual harassment or assult can be but don't forget that she still is human and will have a human response to someone being killed in front of her. Instead of her being in a haze, maybe she'd go on a frenzy? Hope I helped.

  • 5 years ago

    We will only be able to tell once you've written it. I mean, of Mice and Men ends with George killing Lennie. It works because the entire novel is set up to support the ending. So write it and see.

    • Zakle5 years agoReport

      Very true. I always knew Silas was going to kill himself in the end due to the overwhelming guilt of what he did, but I didn't think of doing it with Hannah there to witness it. I was also planning it be much later but, eh, things changed I guess.

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  • alan P
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    Sounds plausible to me but overall it has to form a story that takes the reader on a journey and makes them feel that there is a point to it all. Be careful of describing what happens and then having Hannah describe it again in the same level of detail. The retelling has to give us something new.

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  • S ü
    Lv 6
    5 years ago

    Silas wouldn't have been in "prison" without having gone through a trial. He may have been in jail or lock-up.

    it's not anything I would want to read.

    • Zakle5 years agoReport

      Thanks for the information! I'll be sure to remember that.

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