Should I be the singer in my band?
Okay, so this is the deal: music is a BIG part of my life, and I went to a music school for 2 years. Last year, I started a band with my friends, and I am the most professional of them all. I was first the singer, and I have always wanted to be a singer in a band, but I'm not confident enough while singing in public. This is the 1st problem. And, another friend of mine (he's a boy) joined the band,wanting to be a singer. I said okay, let's sing together. But now, people consider HIM more like the lead singer. This is the 2nd problem. And the 3rd one is, I've been spending A LOT of time and effort for this band and I'm the only one in the band that takes it seriously. And, I'm also the leader of the band. So, I wanna be the lead singer, but going back to the 1st problem, I'm not confident enough, though I can sing in tune. I just don't trust myself and I don't think I sound confident and powerful when I sing in public.
What should I do? Should I just stay at the back and let my friend sing the whole thing? (Which is very hard for me to do.) Or should I try harder and be the singer myself?
I'm sorry if this is complicated. But the situation is complicated. Please help...
- WUWRLv 65 years agoFavorite Answer
I've been the singer in bands before and the best advice I can give you is to just make the decision that you are going to have fun and do it. It may not sound like great advice, but really you know you can sing the songs and sing them in key it's just people that get in your head. The thing is that people are rooting for you. They're out to enjoy themselves and enjoy your music. You have to embrace the experience and you just have to flip that entertainer switch. I was a terrible singer, TERRIBLE, but people have told me on many occasions that I was a really great front man. That was ALL ATTITUDE (funny thing is that as soon as I'm not on a stage I'm actually quite shy). Too many people let the fear get in the way, but the thing is what's the worst that can happen? People don't like it? No big deal. You're going to have good shows and bad shows anyway. I've played in lots of bands doing and we've had disasterous sets before (we literally cleared the main room at a party in one of the first shows I ever played. Basically the feeling that you're going to have, that mildly light headed, nervous feeling is just energy that you can interpret positively or negatively. Embrace it! Just set out to belt it out and have fun and you'll be fine. If you harness the energy properly it can be one hell of a rush.
So for a little nutshelling, you clearly want to be the singer/co-singer here so do it. The only thing holding you back is fear, but fear is just this intangible thing that you really do have control over (whether it feels that way or not). Turn that fear into excitement and energy. As they say, dance like no one is watching because people love that confidence and swagger. It's entertaining and it's fun. Just let go of the fear and kick butt and never take yourself too seriously. Once you do you will not regret it.
- JeremyLv 55 years ago
When I was a lot younger I went through a very similar thing. I suffered with confidence and so let some untalented show-off be lead vocalist. I had to hear him butcher all the songs I wrote.
You need to become a confident singer whilst proving to your band you have what it takes to perform. To do this you need to record yourself singing with just you and a guitar (either original material or covers). This way you can delete anything that is bad. When you have a decent recording, keep it to remind yourself you can sing well live. Play it to your band for feedback and tell them you would really like to be lead vocalist on some tracks at least. They might see him as the lead vocalist only because you have seemed reluctant to take center stage. They may be happy for you to take the responsibility.
Let your friend be lead vocalist and then (I know this is harsh) but when you grow more in confidence, step up. If you are the band leader and the driving force then you should be leading the direction of the band and be a bit selfish. If you are never going to be happy not being center-stage then your band will never be happy and not succeed. So you need to change this.
- moezlanskiLv 75 years ago
Just because you think you are the leader of the band means nothing. You need to act like it before people take you seriously. You yourself said your not confident while singing in public, well thats a big problem especially if you want to expand and grow. There is give and take in everything that you do, thats part of life. Your going to have to sit down with your bandmates and work this out. There is going to be trouble down the line if you dont work this out now. Its going to take some work but if you goin with the right attitude than the options are virtually endless. But the other big factor in your way is your uneasiness in public. Even if the other person is less skilled if he has the confidence to sing in public than he has an advantage over you. Dont sit back this is something you like to do, you just need help getting back to where you want to be. Your bandmates if you are nice and talk it out should be behind you. Good luck