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Is he not interested?

I met a guy from Tinder a month ago. We have good conversation and common interests - we've been out four times and he always pays + arranges another date. He still uses Tinder and is seeing others. He works three jobs so we don't text much between dates (he often initiates though).

My main issue is: we never talk about anything dating/relationship-related. He pays for the dates and says he likes seeing me, and we arrange to meet again. But there's been no mention of Tinder/what we're looking for/what we're doing. We've not kissed - we just hug before leaving. It feels like a friendship. I've tried to make hints, such as briefly holding his hand, but I didn't get a reaction.

He's shown me his work schedule and it's always busy - which is why I appreciate him making time for me. He seems nervous when planning dates - he says he's not sure what I'd like to do and doesn't want to plan something I won't enjoy. We live quite far apart and make the effort to travel, but conversation is always casual/unromantic.

I really can't tell what he wants, and I'm worried about bringing it up - I don't want to scare him/be rejected. I know I'm interested and would like to know him on a more romantic level. I just can't decipher him. How can I tell?

I just don't know what to say if I confront him. I don't get any signals from him apart from the fact he enjoys meeting up with me on at least some level.

I've asked this question before, but people don't often respond.

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  • 5 years ago
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    Hey! It really sounds like he's a bit nervous. My boyfriend of 3 years was always the same way. Quite awkward and a bit non-talkative. He never got any hints and didn't kiss me.... like ever. I had to ASK him to kiss me our first time. He came around. I suggest that you casually bring it up and ask if you should keep pursuing him because you're interested but if he isn't then you shouldn't waste your time. I'm sure you've heard the expression "Life is too Short" or- God forgive me- "YOLO." You seem like you have good intentions and you deserve to pursue someone that is looking for something similar to what you are. Ask him in person like it's no big deal and if he says you're just friends and it won't evolve into anything more, be cool and accept it but tell him you still want to be friends and hang out! Good Luck :)

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