Girls going to concerts alone? Need answers?

my all time favorite band, Deftones, is coming to Columbus, Ohio, 5 hours away from me and nobody I know even knows this band, so therefore i don't have a soul to go with. As a 19 year old girl, would this be a horrible idea to drive there alone and go to the concert all by my lonesome? I read about how a lot of people go to concerts alone and end up meeting new people there and having a great time. I would ask my mom but she has to work throughout the week, and there's no one else for me to go with. I'm not afraid of going by myself as much as I am something bad happening to me. What do you all think? I need answers pleeease. Also, are there any ways to meet up with people going to the same concert? I've looked but so far haven't found anything. Thanks for any answers


thanks for the answers everybody. @Kyle, unfortunately I have asked some people and they don't like or know the band enough to wanna go (where I live, nobody is ever up for anything new) :/

8 Answers

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I started going to shows alone in my teens and was always fine.

    I'm only 5'1", ~110 to 90 pounds. I always dressed for the show, and no one harrassed me. (I get the very distinct impression that that would NOT be the case anywhere in the U.S. though.)

    Drove from the absolute middle of nowhere to a city (or town big enough for a rock show) and back in the middle of the night. Didn't drink or anything, of course. And I was just generally safe & aware of my surroundings. (I was also a 1st or 2nd degree blackbelt by that time, though, so that may have helped my sense of being able to handle myself too.)

    But I'm in Canada, and Ohio is a very different social climate. It's very rare for someone to even try to bring a weapon into a rock venue here. Some hip-hop & dj-oriented clubs/events have a reputation for violence, but there are still fewer guns around here, & handguns (or any designed-for-use-on-people guns) are quite largely seen as not socially acceptable for people to even want to carry with them anyway (unless they're police, or security, etc.).

    Do you know Columbus, Ohio? The layout of the city, the social climate, the atmosphere, the type of people who live &/or go to concerts there?

    Have you seen Deftones before? Do you know what the "typical" Deftones fan is like?

    I would say that the area and the fans are the two biggest determiners for how safe it would be.

    Does the band have a forum, where you could find other fans that you at least kinda-sorta know? I've met people from fan forums & it was always super fun. Before facebook was a thing, "fan meet-ups" organised by on a forum were quite common, especially with smaller bands whom it might be harder to talk friends into seeing.

    Technically, you could do the same with facebook, but facebook is so vast that there's not really any pre-existing relationship, so you're just meeting some stranger from the internet, which doesn't really help your situation as much.

    Have you tried There are lots of Meetup groups which go to concerts, so there's probably a music oriented Meetup group in that city, or at least a nearby one, that you could join. There might even be a Meetup already being planned for that particular concert, and if there isn't, you could suggest or add it yourself.

    How much longer until the show? As long as it's not in just a few days or something, you probably have time to find or organise a meetup.

    Just use common sense, trust your gut, & be smart & safe.

    If you're driving back the five hours that night, plan to sleep very late before the concert so that you won't be falling asleep on your way home. Don't drink or consume any other intoxicants, obviously, even if you're only driving from the venue to a hotel for the night. (You're also underage there, aren't you? Have you made sure you don't need to be 21 to get into the concert?) Don't go anywhere with anyone who gives you a creepy vibe. Wear running shoes. Keep some cash in your shoe or bra or somewhere, especially if you carry your wallet in a purse, just in case. And don't bring any cards you don't need. Watch your stuff. Make sure any drinks you get are either sealed or you watched them being opened yourself, and don't leave it for anyone to watch for you. Probably best to stay away from the mosh pit when you're there by yourself. Bring earplugs. Make sure you actually know the route before hand; don't rely soly on GPS.

    And chat with some other girls when you get there, especially if it looks like they're there alone too. See if they think you're crazy for going by yourself, or what they would do in your shoes. And make friends for next time!

    ETA: A lot of people are saying to bring mace. Keep in mind that there is definitely going to be a bag check at the door. If it's an indoor arena-type venue, it's very unlikely that they're going to let you in with mace! (I mean, most big venues don't even let you take cameras.) Check the venue's website before hand for what you are allowed to bring in and what you're not. And call and ask them directly if you still aren't sure. Don't try to bring anything that's going to get you kicked out of the concert. (You don't want is to get tossed amongst a bunch of other people who got kicked out too. Those are the ones to be worried about.)

    In fact, you could try to chat with a security guard, or door person, or other staff, if that would make you feel safer.

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  • 5 years ago

    I've been going to concerts 5+ hours away alone since I was 18. I don't drive, so I take the bus and then stay overnight in a hotel.

    If the concert has an event page on Facebook, maybe you could post there saying that you'll be going alone, and ask if anyone else is too that would like to hang out. I've never done that though, I just talk to the people around me outside and inside the venue. Most people are in a happy, outgoing mood.

    I wouldn't advise drinking, or going anywhere with someone you've just met. Typical stuff like that.

    Watch your back leaving after the show and you should be fine. Bring a small, cross-body bag to keep your stuff in, and tie a jacket around your waist (over the bag) during the concert to stop pickpockets. Also stash some money in different places on your body (deep pockets, insider your bra etc.) just in case.

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  • 5 years ago

    I've driven further than that for bluegrass festivals featuring my favorite bands. One in particular that I like as much as you like the Deftones is the Trinity River Band. And far fewer people have ever heard of the Trinity River Band.

    But unfortunately, a rock concert will NOT be a safe thing for a girl to attend alone. Too many things can happen, such as drugs, violence, fights breaking out. Someone could slip something into your drink. You never know what could happen. If you were going to a bluegrass or Southern Gospel event, then I would say OK. But not a hard rock concert.

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  • 5 years ago

    I have driven out of the state alone for concerts and have never had problems.

    Yes it can get a bit lonely but I would rather be lonely for a few hours than Regret for life I didn't go.

    ( I didn't go to a concert alone once and the band broke up and the lead died a few years later- Regret not going)

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  • Kyle
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    it could be an experience for you if this is your first time. if you have a purse or pockets, bring mace with you. don't wear unveiling clothing that will attract unwanted attention if you don't want any. have a cell phone with you and make sure you have it charged. get a cable charger for your car if you don't have one already.

    just because your friends don't know the band, doesn't mean they won't like the music. let them listen to some samples and see if they want to go. offer to drive and share a room with one you trust if you stay overnight at a hotel somewhere.

    have fun!

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  • Corey
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    As long as you can watch out for yourself, you should be fine.

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    bring a pepper spray

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  • 5 years ago

    just don't accept drinks from anyone and kick anyone who gropes your butt in the nuts!

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