What is the definition of a clean home for new couples?
I just moved in with my boyfriend of 3 years and it's already rocky. He gets extremely frustrated if I even leave a pair of socks on the floor or fail to wipe up a spill on the bathroom sink (such as toothpaste that exploded in the morning) right away and leave for the day. We had a huge argument about how my habits are upsetting him. I thought that the place looked tidy and that yeah there are things out of place here and there around the place, but dishes aren't stacked up in sink and you can walk through the rooms without stepping on anything or anything like that. His main argument was that I don't respect our new home because I left some exploded toothpaste on the sink for a few days and left some food out on the counter for a little bit when I ran to the store instead of putting it in the fridge and little things like that. My argument was that those things didn't seem important and that doesn't mean I don't respect our new home. I don't know what to do. I'll admit I was a bit of a slob for a while going through college and working full time and I never felt like cleaning, but even now when I do take time after work to clean up and vacuum and use cleaning agents it doesn't seem like it's enough for him even though I'm trying. I love him and I want this to work, I just don't know what to do to get to his standard of clean.
- 5 years agoFavorite Answer
It's all about setting up new habits. When you first move into a new place, it's easy to say, well, I'll get into the habit of cleaning tomorrow. You should set up a cleaning schedule like vacuuming on wednesdays, laundry on sundays, etc. If you make yourself clean up a mess right away, it gets easier to do it without thinking after a little while, and it feels less like a huge pain and more like you're just on autopilot. I'm the worst at keeping things tidy and letting little messes go, but I'm working on it. Just tell him that you're working on it, and that you're tired. If you're running late, ask him to tidy up a little mess for you instead of just leaving it. Hampers in multiple rooms are a help, too. Sidenote: Is he helping you clean? Cuz unless he's helping, he has no right to complain.
- williamLv 65 years ago
First of all He needs to wake up and realize Your Relationship is a 50-50 Relationship and He also needs to contribute. Just because You sleep with Him does not mean You volunteered to become His personal Slave . My Wife and I both work and Our Home looks like a mess some days That's because Both of Us were tired and busy and things got a little behind. Which ever one of Us has some free time becomes the Cleaner and Cook and whatever else needs to be done that day. This means that when We both get some free time rather than spending the day cleaning up We get to go out and have some free time for Ourselves. I can Cook and Clean and do Laundry and anything else My Wife can do. I'm also a Professional Welder and operate Heavy Equipment and have a CDL ( Commercial Drivers Licence) Spent over 20 Years in the Military and can look after Myself in almost any situation. If it's all that important to Him He should have spoken to You about it before taking You to bed.
- 5 years ago
You all need to come to a common ground.
You are trying.
He needs to try as well.
I can understand the toothpaste on the sink thing...I don't like seeing anything nasty in the bathroom or kitchen.
The socks thing is not a big deal.
My husband is the same way as yours.
If he sees anything out of place, he gets antsy and he feels it should be cleaned asap.
I mean even if he sees that I am making efforts, he still feels the need to get hyped up about anything out of place.
I am the opposite, I like to get things done in my own time.
- ScottLv 75 years ago
"I left some exploded toothpaste on the sink for a few days".
A few days??? Who does that? That's nasty, clean up after yourself.
His standard of clean seems pretty simple: Don't leave your dirty laundry lying around, clean up messes you make, put your food in the fridge or throw it out.
And most of us work full-time as well, so that's not an excuse. Neither is not wanting to clean up - no one does.
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- AliceLv 75 years ago
I would have cleaned up the exploded toothpaste immediately, myself, and I would expect my husband to do the same. I also do not leave socks or other clothing lying on the floor, ever, nor does he. This seems like ordinary enough tidiness, not extreme. It does sound to me as though you are unaccustomed to picking up after yourself. Leaving food on the counter is actually unsafe and could give both of you an illness.
I would hope and expect that your boyfirend is also cleaning and does not expect you to do all of it.
- Anonymous5 years ago