Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 6 years ago

Why do parents freak out about what their kids do with their body?

My whole life my parents have had fits when I didn't want to do the same thing most people do. I took showers every day and brushed my teeth, it was nothing gross.

From when I started school and wanted to wear my socks inside out because that seam is f'ing uncomfortable, to when I was 16 and decided to stop wearing bras, and when I didn't want to shave my legs or armpits, I had to fight tooth and nail. My parents were against me all the way. We had huge fights that often ended with tears, and their argument was always "everyone else does it! it's just what women are supposed to do!" It was really stressful, and I hated having to be all "rebellious" and fight against my parents in order to just do what was comfortable for me. My dad also made fun of me for being slightly chubby-faced when I was younger, and of my sister for having acne. He also constantly "joked" that we were ugly and would "never find a man"- as if finding a man is so important anyway.

We also had a big fight when I asked (ok, politely demanded, I was pissed) my dad to stop telling my sister she was ugly. He said he had a right to do what he wanted in his own house, and my mom agreed with him, but I eventually got through to him, and laughed at, when I explained how bad the effects of his "teasing" were.

I don't understand why parents do this. Wouldn't they want their kids to know that no one has a right to make them do anything to their body they don't want to?


@Cinnamon: In what way is choosing to do something different with your body "corrupted"? O.o How does not shaving make a kid any less "precious"?

Update 2:

@Helen: I disagree with your comment about my appearance. Men's nipples show through their shirts, no one cares. It shouldn't make a difference that I'm a woman. My breasts aren't large, especially when they don't have a bra pushing them up. And yes, if I wear a thin shirt you can see nipple bumps. But there is nothing wrong with that. I've gone braless in public many, many times since turning 18, and NO ONE said anything or appeared to notice.

6 Answers

  • Zim
    Lv 6
    6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    because your parents (all parents) comes fro man earlier, less progressive, less liberal environment, and alot of what we do today shocks and disturbs them. actually i'm a bit on the old side too (not that old) and i already experience this with the newest 2000s generation.

    i guess my generation creates alot of potheads and my parents are freaking out about it. my parents came from an environment that was strongly against pot. they don't know another about it other than the anti-pot propaganda by the government. so hence their negative reaction.

    your parents likely grew up in a time or place that dictated conformity and normal-ness, so when they saw you do something that wasn't "normal" (their definition of it) they freaked out about it.

  • 6 years ago

    I think your parents are really superficial and most likely not very intelligent people. They don't sound very kind either. You are correct. A parent should not be saying that sort of stuff to their children. It is very bad for a child's self esteem. I'm surprised you're not raised to think that looks are everything. Typically, kids grow up to think like their parents as a result of teaching and training.

    But the thing is that you're a bit too lax about your appearance. Its fine to have shave but its not ok to not wear a bra to school unless you are very flat chested like a 32A. Otherwise, your nipples can appear through your shirts. This may cause looks/stares and may be considered publicly inappropriate.

    Don't assume most parents are like yours. Most parents are nearly the opposite of yours

  • 6 years ago

    Whereas I agree that a persons body is their own, and what you have said isn't gross or life changing ( tattoo's, piercings, not showering, etc...) up until your 18 you are under the care of your parents. I understand you feel annoyed, but once you are 18 you can move out and do as you please.

  • 6 years ago

    They just think they're doing best for u but if every other girl was getting pregnant having sex with everyone would they want u to? No. It shouldn't matter what they think is right its ur life u should be able to do whatever u want if they don't like it so what they have to deal with it

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  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Good for you. And I agree, I think the whole women having to be hairless all over their bodies is ridiculous, and if you are comfortable without a bra, fine, and good for you for standing up for your sister to your father.

  • 6 years ago

    You are precious to them, they want you to stay pure and cute and innocent forever, after you are corrupted you're a old person and no longer their baby, imagine how hard it would be to let go of something you think is precious, like a cute baby kitten

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