how to deal with your first death if a lives one?

My grandpa who was 82 was diagnosed with Acute myeloid leukemia last week. Within the next few days he declined rapidly and passed about 24hours ago. I am 18 and have never had a loved one die before. I was closer with him than anyone else in my family. I was born the year he retired so I was constantly with him. He would pick me up from school and we would go to dinner and all kinds of things. I feel so alone and I can't sleep. I went to the hospital twice the day he died to see him even though he was pretty much unresponsive. My mom went again later on and I didn't go with her and he died an hour later. I feel like I should have gone because it was my last chance to. If I don't think about him at all or anything I am OK. But if I do think I start to sob because he will not see me graduate in two weeks, or see any of his grandchild get married. I will never spend another holiday with him and its really hard. I don't know what to do. Could someone please help me. No one understands because they were not as close to him. Please help me.

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  • Spaz
    Lv 4
    6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is tough. I lost my mom ten years ago. She was sick but was getting treatment. Then out of nowhere she came down with Sepsis(whole body infection). She was rushed to the hospital but by the time I got there she was unconscious. I never really got to say goodbye either. Real life is not like in the movies where you say your goodbyes and then the person passes away. She was the first person I really loved who passed away also. It is ok to cry you need to let your emotions out. It is strange but death is part of life. Now what you have to do is remember him through your thoughts.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    having had your grandpa in your life since birth, he has enjoyed being with you, It is what grandparents do. Never blame yourself for not going to the hospital, how were you to know it was so close.

    Give some support to your Mom and air your grief, rather than keep it in. easier said than done, BUT.......vent it out !!

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