Chan asked in 社會與文化語言 · 5 years ago

英文高手請問如何寫以下英文

我們藉由合併寄送以減少運費支出,並加強商品的維護以減少人為的損壞

我們很成功地減少了今年的費用支出讓本部門有所獲利

4 Answers

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  • Beth
    Lv 7
    5 years ago
    Best Answer

    這段文字什麼用途的? 英文簡報(口語)? 還是類似 email 的文字書信, 或是書面報告?

    不管如何, 有一個建議, 在英文的習慣裡, 開宗明義先講出這篇文章的目的或重點, 之後再解釋你怎麼達到的等細節.

    2015-05-06 18:38:04 補充:

    "我們很成功地減少了今年的費用支出讓本部門有所獲利" 這應該放在第一句. 先告訴人家本部門今年是獲利的, 而原因來自於減少費用類的支出.

    "我們藉由合併寄送以減少運費支出,並加強商品的維護以減少人為的損壞" 這句是細節, 告訴人家你是怎麼減少費用類的支出, 要放在第二句或更後面.

    2015-05-06 18:41:08 補充:

    第一句和第二句中間最好再加上, "那我們是如何辦到的?" 之類的 transition.

    再來, 以這句來說: "我們藉由合併寄送以減少運費支出"

    比較好的講法是, 我們減少了運費支出 by 合併寄送.

    這樣的句子聽的人比較不費力能聽懂.

    2015-05-06 21:33:13 補充:

    口語上的報告用字就要看對象, 因為聽的人聽懂比較重要, 一些比較難的單字就少用, 他可沒時間去查字典才知道你在講什麼. 假設你簡報的對象的母語非英文, 更應該用簡單的字去表達. 你上面用的字就很好, 都是常見的. 剩下的問題是怎麼組織, 讓你的文字能正確表達出你的意思.

    2015-05-06 22:27:27 補充:

    我們藉由合併寄送以減少運費支出,並加強商品的維護以減少人為的損壞

    我們很成功地減少了今年的費用支出讓本部門有所獲利 Our department reduced the expence successfully and get profit since Jan till April.We reduce the shipping cost by combine the shippments and improve the product maintence to deduce the man-caursed damaged. 我就從你的這段文字稍做修改, 希望有幫助.Our department successfully reduced the expences and got profit from Jan to April. We reduced the shipping cost by combining the shipments whenever possible. We also reinforced the maintenance of our products to minimize the man-caused damages.

    根據實際情況還可再做修改, 比如:

    In order to become more profitable, we decided to cut some unnecessary expenses. For example, we combine the shipments whenever it is possible. We also reinforce the maintenance of our products in order to minimize the man-caused damages. As a result, I am happy to say, our department is profitable from Jan to April this year. Thank you.

    雖然第一句和最後一句很很大的重複, 不過既然是口頭報告就還好, 因為結論也是很重要.

  • 5 years ago

    謝謝Beth的建議 的確是專家級的

    是口語上的報告

    我是想說能不能寫

    Our department reduced the expence successfully and get profit since Jan till April.

    We reduce the shipping cost by combine the shippments

    and improve the product maintence to deduce the man-caursed damaged.

    2015-05-06 22:11:31 補充:

    我會的字不多,也就只能用這些字來表達了

    請問如何修改讓講起來更順?

  • 5 years ago

    我們藉由合併寄送以減少運費支出,並加強商品的維護以減少人為的損壞

    我們很成功地減少了今年的費用支出讓本部門有所獲利

    With the merger we send in order to reduce freight expenses, and to strengthen the maintenance of goods to reduce man-made damage

    We are very successful in reducing expenses this year to make some profits in this sector

    希望有幫到你

  • 5 years ago

    我們藉由合併寄送以減少運費支出,並加強商品的維護以減少人為的損壞

    我們很成功地減少了今年的費用支出讓本部門有所獲利 We took advantage of consolidation delivery to lower the expenditures of transportation, and enhanced the safety of the cargos to prevent artificial damages. So that we reduced the expenditures of this year very successfully, and consecutively made the department gain profits.

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