I feel suicidal due to the fact that I have a small penis. Some one please tell me what I should do?

I am 18 years old, soon to turn 19 and I am still a virgin. My penis is a little over 4 inches long when I am at my hardest. I feel like an inferior human being. My father walked out on my mother and I when I was 4 years old; recently I cursed her out for even making me and told her what selfish human beings she... show more I am 18 years old, soon to turn 19 and I am still a virgin. My penis is a little over 4 inches long when I am at my hardest. I feel like an inferior human being. My father walked out on my mother and I when I was 4 years old; recently I cursed her out for even making me and told her what selfish human beings she and my father were for passing on inferior genetics. Not only do I have a small penis. I am unattractive. I am 5'8, have really big ears, and am slightly overweight.

Every day that I wake up I feel like just ending it all. All these videos on the internet talking about penis size are so contradictory. I feel as though the ones where they say size doesn't matter are lies. I feel as though the people making those videos are just being politically correct and are just making the video to get popularity and views from guys who are in a similar situation as myself.

At the same time my mom has raised me by herself for 18 years and I feel like I would be doing a selfish thing by letting all her time and resources to go to waste by killing myself. I want to be able to buy her a nice house and give her some money so that she will never have to worry again.

I have also has a falling out with "God" because of this. I used to be very religious but now I am an atheist and want nothing to do with God. I am just so conflicted right now and I feel as though if someone responds to this question by saying "God has a plan for you" I just might end it all.
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