Can someone help with the beginning of my new teen romance novel?

I want this to happen in the story, The main Character is named Ella, Her bestfriend is named Olivia. Olivia goes out with a guy named Mason, but she's using him simply because her parents don't like her actual boyfriend, who is a bad boy named Parker. Olivia is completely oblivious to the fact that Mason has actual feelings for her, he thinks their relationship is real. I wanted Ella to fall in love with mason throughout the story though. When Ella and Olivia go to the bowling alley, Olivia invites Mason and his friend Justin. So while bowling Olivia is on her phone, texting parker the whole time, telling him to meet her at the bowling alley. Mason gets sad because he knows something isn't right, SO Ella is there to comfort him, befriend him, and get to know him and thats when they fall in love. IS THIS GOOD? THIS IS HOW IM BEGINNING MY STORY PLEASE HELP ME ELABORATE.

Ella's POV

"Ella, we need to talk." Olivia says, her voice low.

"Okay, What's up?” I ask sitting on the park bench. It's an overly hot day and I can feel my pale skin getting a tan. Some dark brown strands of hair stick to my face, as I swipe away the sweat. I really shouldn't have agreed to come out today. But I push the feeling to the side.

"I have a new boyfriend." I furrow a brow in surprise. How could she have broken up with Parker? I thought she really liked his bad boy attitude.

"What happened between you and Parker?"

"I'm still with Parker b-"

"You're cheating?" That wasn't like Olivia at all

2 Answers

  • Marli
    Lv 7
    5 years ago
    Best Answer

    Let me get straight who is with whom.

    Ella - narrator and main character. Ella is apparently heart-free.

    Olivia - Ella's best friend, who is pretending to like Mason but is in a relationship with Parker

    Mason - who loves Olivia. Olivia is using him as cover.

    Parker - the bad boy Olivia loves.

    Justin - Mason's friend.

    Author wants Mason and Ella to fall in love. Apparently they have not yet "met". I mean Ella is not yet aware of Mason as a person to care about. That happens at the bowling alley.

    Is Ella covering to Mason for Olivia's bad behaviour [Her texting Parker when, as Mason's date, she should be focused on him and the other people in the party.], out of loyalty to Olivia? Did Olivia ask Ella to cover for her, or did Ella see Mason's bewilderment and hurt and decided to be the good hostess to Mason?

    If I were you - and I'm not, so don't take this advice as a command - I would write the scene in the bowling alley first, just so you have it "on paper". I think the meeting between Ella and Mason is where the action begins, and the tete-a-tete between Olivia and Ella that you've written is a lead up to the action.

    Then I would take David's advice about creating your conflict and resolution and writing your outline and draft. You might be a seat of the pants writer, not comfortable with planning it all out; but it would not hurt to jot down ways for Ella to ease Mason away from Olivia (because she does not want Olivia to hurt him) or to mend Mason's broken heart should Olivia dump him.

    A few "what if ...?"s would help to heighten the tension too. What if Parker doesn't know that Olivia is using Mason, and thinks Olivia is using him? What if Parker insults Olivia, or Ella, and Mason fights him? What if Mason confronts Olivia about texting Parker at the alley, or, later, when he realizes she's played him for a fool? [I hope he does. Since Mason is the hero of the romance, he should not be a wimp.] What if Olivia wants Mason back after she dumps Parker (if she dumps him), and she accuses Ella of stealing Mason from her?

  • David
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    Stop fussing over a perfect beginning and all these meaningless character names. Good writing is not about names. It's about a lot of time and effort put into crafting a plot that is driven by a conflict. If you have your conflict, figure out how you want to resolve it. Then write an outline or rough draft of the story that only has what is vital to take your story to the conflict resolution.

    What you have here doesn't seem important. Nothing is happening.

    • David
      Lv 7
      5 years agoReport

      It looks like that paragraph could be deleted and no-one at the end of the story would care.

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