My roommate wants a pet, I don't -- Advice please!!!?
I live in a small college apartment with a girl I have known my whole life. She has recently become enamored with getting a therapy dog for her depression. Our landlord does not allow pets but since this is medical Im not sure that they will be able to prevent her from having one. I am an extremely tidy person. I realize not everyone has the same standards as me but most breeds shed/are dirty/smelly & I really cant afford to be cleaning even more than I already do. I'm worried about her ability and willingness to train the dog appropriately. I don't want the dog to be anxious about being kenneled if its not taught that it is a safe place to be when the owner is away. I know dogs chew and have accidents & she nor I can afford to replace damaged items. She wants a large dog (~80lbs) which I feel is not suitable for our space. She claims she will be fully responsible for the dog (vet, food, taking it outside, etc.) but I fear I will end up having some responsibility which is a commitment I know is not realistic for my schedule/lifestyle. If she must have a dog I think a smaller dog would be much better. I just feel she is severely underestimating the commitments necessary to provide for an animal. I've told her these concerns, but she always counteracts with how she is "sure" she can handle the issue. After knowing her for many years I am aware of her personality and dont believe this to be true. I think she is being very naive to think this isnt a serious commitment.
**UPDATE: She wants an Emotional Support Animal, not a therapy dog. I had my terminology wrong.
- LorraineLv 75 years ago
I TOTALLY agree with YOU and not her.
Dogs cannot be within a household and not affect everybody. You will be in some way responsible for cleaning the mess a dog makes as you can't divide up those chores. You will also get caught up in looking after the dog if she is out and because they can be noisy this will also affect you.
A dog is a HUGE commitment and it sounds like she NO WAY has the experience to do all the training a dog of 80 lbs plus is going to take.
I am really not up for all this 'therapy dog' business for depression anyway. I think far too many people are just trying to use the system.
Dogs of 80 lbs plus that are not obedient and well trained will cause her FAR MORE STRESS than she has at the moment that is for sure, and that will NOT help her depression.
Anybody getting a dog must consider everyone in the household anyway, and tbh if she wants a dog I'd tell her to move to somewhere that has people that do want one.
- Nekkid Truth!Lv 75 years ago
The landlord can still place size or breed restrictions when she goes to her landlord to request reasonable accommodation to be allowed an if ESA. ESA are not protected under the same rules that protect service dogs, so in most states, the landlord does not even have to allow a dog.
A big dog really isn't suitable for an apartment either, especially if she is not an active person or doesn't have time to walk the dog and exercise it.
This is something you need to talk to her about. If she isn't already taking an hour long jog daily, its not likely that she will start once she has a dog. Adopting a smaller adult dog that is already housetrained and crate trained is the best way to appeal to you and the landlord
- *****Lv 75 years ago
As far as your objections to her getting a dog, you've tried gently expressing your concerns, and that's got you nowhere. I'd suggest educating her on the actual requirements for an ESA in an attempt to dissuade her. If she does actually pursue obtaining landlord permission to have the dog, and getting the needed medical documentation, you'll need to be straightforward and firm. Simply tell her that when you agreed to live with her, a dog was not part of the deal. Forget criticizing her or pointing out her shortcomings. What it comes down to is that you do not want a large dog in your apartment, and as her roommate, you have the right to set that boundary. Pets should not ever be brought into a household unless all members of that household agree to it, and you do not agree. Period.
I'm not sure why those who don't know the law persist in answering questions about Emotional Support Animals. Indeed, most landlords in "no pets" housing must, by federal law, allow legitimate ESAs as a reasonable accommodation for someone's disability. However, simply having depression does not qualify your roommate to have an ESA. In order to qualify for that designation, the pet owner must be so mentally ill that they are legally DISABLED by it, as defined by the ADA. Additionally, the animal must be basically prescribed by her treating physician or mental health professional as part of her treatment plan. The ability to have the animal needs to be requested from and approved by the landlord in advance. Your roommate should be aware that she will be labeling herself as so mentally disturbed that she's disabled by it, and think of the future ways in which that designation could impact her- for example, a documented history of disabling mental illness could work against her in child custody proceedings if she is ever in that position.
Landlords can and will require documentation of disability and need. In addition, size and breed restrictions, minimum age requirements, etc can be applied to ESAs because they have no special training and a specific individual animal/size/breed isn't required to serve the purpose. And, while many landlords do choose to waive deposits and pet rent for ESAs, there is no case law establishing that they can't charge these fees, and there is case law in some places that says they CAN.
- ChiMomLv 75 years ago
I don't think there is a therapy dog for depression! I would talk with your landlord and express your concern and find out his position on this.
I have an apartment and a 10 lb chi-mix. It is like having a baby--the dog cannot be left alone--housetraining is very nerve wracking too. Dogs need to go out many times a day to 'potty'. Barking is not fair to other tenants.
Someone is always with my chi--when I am at work I have a sitter to take care of any barking, pottying, company, etc. What if a fire breaks out? Dogs need to be taken care of!
I strongly think the landlord will not go for this idea.
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- LenaLv 44 years ago
Oh goodness gracie Girl! How do you fall in love with 3 guys? Edward, your husband, he cheated on you! TWICE! The first suspicion of unfaithful-ness is when that man should have gone. When you give him second chances, he looses respect for you cause he knows he can love another woman and you not care. He needs to know that not your not going to tolorate this cheating he doing and as long as your around it wont be happening. And did you say you both have other people you are seeing?! That is the most messed-up, weird, unhealthy relationship problem I have EVER herd. Im sorry but come on Girl, Make up your MIND! This isnt high-school, these arent little boys and you cant play with their hearts like this! This is the REAL world and these are GROWN MEN and it shocks me that someone would handle it the way you are. My advice, forget them all. Once thats over, you need to go into your heart and you will find which man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Whether its one of them or not the time to make a decision was a longggg time ago. I hope i helped hun (: -Chelsea
- ZotsRuleLv 75 years ago
Tell your landlord. You're not allowed pets and she thinks she can use the excuse of her "depression" to be allowed to keep one. Doesn't work that way. SERVICE animals that are TRAINED and provide a SERVICE are the only ones allowed to stay in places animals aren't allowed.
- Star_of_DarknessLv 75 years ago
Your room mate can NOT get a dog since they are not allowed and you will be kicked out if she gets one. ESA are only pets and not allowed in pet free rentals and since she's not dis baled she can't lie about it being a service dog.
Tell her if she sneaks a dog in you will report her to the LL
- CDogLv 75 years ago
Chances are she won't be able to get one. You can cross that bridge when (if) you get to it and move out if you don't like living with a dog.
- 5 years ago
GSD German shepherd dog
- 3 years ago
Would like to know more about this as well