Am I rude for assuming people will not understand my wedding invites?
Despite hundreds of years of etiquette and social norms I am still getting the feeling that people who do not rsvp will still show up, and despite sending personal invites to everyone who is invited instead of phrasing it "the smith family" people will still bring a child.
Is it wrong to assume this? Should i give my guests more credit?
- dripLv 75 years agoFavorite Answer
No, assume they will not get it.
We just had my daughter's wedding. So I have been talking about weddings to many friends. I am shock at how many told some guest just showed up who never RSVP's
We had guest not RSVP- they weren't coming so simply didn't RSVP. I called up every guest that didin't RSVP to get a firm anwere from them.
I had one guest RSVP yes to 2, call me up 5 days before the wedding and say, well we never got a baby sitter so we are going to make it.
I had one guest bring a date when she RSVP for 1. Luckily we figured out she was traveling with a freind and ask her if she planned on bring her friend to the wedding. She looked surprised, and I told her your RSVP'd for one. OH I DID?
If you say the Smith Family- they will assume everyone in the Smith family is invited. You put Mr. and Mrs Smith on the outside envelope and John and Jane Smith on the inside envelope and still hope they get it.
Give it about 4 days after your respond by date -then call everyone who hasn't sent in the RSVP card
- Jenny LynneLv 75 years ago
No, it is still "done done" (maybe only 5--10% out of 100)----some people don't understand the correct etiquette for RSVPing and some just ignore because (and I love children, but think a wedding is no place for anyone age 12 and under and that's pushing it, but trying to be flexible because a 12 year old is old enough to understand that they are just not being invited-just me), but they think they have to bring kids to everything because that is just what they do all the time and is the norm for them---some don't even think about it, just do it and there are some who will know it's wrong, but choose to ignore and bring kids anyway. A wedding is not a family reunion, but some people just don't get it. Frustrating as you know what, but it happens. You can do a presentation wedding where guests are only admitted unless they "present" their invitation at the door or and many say this is not done, but people are doing it, put on the bottom corner of the invitation, Adult Wedding (Only) or No Children Please or Child Free Wedding. Some people will get mad and say, well, if my kids can't come, I won't either=tough, stay at home then. Just me.
- Anonymous5 years ago
No. People are rude for not being decisive and replying in a timely manner.
I helped a friend with her wedding, and THE DAY OF the wedding, we were still being updated regarding who was coming (and hadn't replied at all to the invitation) and who said they were coming, but decided not to / got a more interesting offer/ whatever. Since the venue was very small, the details mattered. We actually had a hard time fitting everyone in. It didn't help that the venue "organizer" had another half dozen folding tables stacked against the wall, all broken and unusable. She also considered herself invited to every event held there so we had to set a place for her, too!
In hindsight, the bride should have telephoned each guest she hadn't heard from - though that wouldn't have caught the no-shows.
Children don't belong everywhere, and frankly, parents who won't leave a child with a sitter and insist that they be welcome everywhere are tedious. Even if they are well-behaved, sometimes adults want to have adult conversations, or talk to one another without simultaneously entertaining a child.
- sunshine_melLv 75 years ago
If you're not inviting kids, I'd suggest you make this clear on the invite somewhere (otherwise some people will assume they're included)
On the RSVP cards, leave lines for each named person, along with options for attending / not attending, and vegetarian/not (need to know if serving a sit down dinner). That way they can only RSVP for the people named; if they add anyone extra, you have to call and explain you can't accept additional invites.
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- Halo MomLv 75 years ago
When people did not RSVP, we called them, got in touch will all.
I would say most people wait until the last week, you need to wait a week before calling. That is why you should give 3 weeks.
Could someone that did not RSVP or call you back show up, yes.
In most case someone that said yes will not show up.
As for children, you should know that when the RSVP comes back. If that happens, just call and explain.
- 5 years ago
No, not rude. Overly concerned, well, possibly.
If it's such a worry to you, do what most bride's do...get on the PC or horn and ask..."Gee, haven't gotten your return card yet...will you be able to attend?" Easy Peasy.
- ChemoAngelLv 75 years ago
You send out the proper invitations and let them be the stupid ones...