I asked my girlfriend about her intimate past. Should I believer her or is she holding back?
This was before we started going out. And I know the past is the past but its the general concept of her telling me the truth or not.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed it. I'm not saying she's lying though. She told me a story about how her group of friends all left for vacation and it was just her and one of the other guys of the group. Long story short she said when it's just a guy and a girl alone and its the summer, things happen. So basically what all that happened was she was in the bed with the guy and she was without pants or underwear and he was without underwear. She said all they did was feel each other.
I guess what bothers me is not so much that she slept with someone before. In my views, you sleep with someone becuase you love them, not because you're turned on and get emotional. I guess in my head if you are in love with someone, it's not slu*ty but if you are just sleeping with someone for the hell of if or the situational circumstances, then it is.
- icpooremanLv 65 years ago
Never ask that question. Ever.
What's the best thing she could say? She told you she was a virgin and now you think she's a liar. She could have said 1 and then you'd be upset that she slept with somebody. She could have said 5+ and then you'd think she's promiscuous.
There is no answer you could get that would make you happy. You asked because of your own insecurities which don't go away regardless of the answer. What have you gained? A girl who is now unhappy that you put her on the spot and skepticism.
And what does it matter? Are you not going to have a relationship with somebody because they had too many sex partners? If that's the case you're not going to have a lot of opportunities later in life. If a girl sleeps with 1 guy a year (which I would consider kind of prude) and starts having sex at 17 by 30 she's in double digits. If you go to college/post-college lots of girls have sex way more often than that. Double digits is probably closer to the norm.
- MMLv 75 years ago
So what if someone thinks they're in love and realizes later they were just horny? Does that invalidate their thinking at the time? Or what if someone does something on the spur of the moment and later regrets it? Do you really think you're helping by piling on more judgment?
This isn't nearly as black and white as you're making it out to be. If that's how you see the world, and you're not going to be able to get past it, then this girl isn't the one for you. But if you genuinely believe that the past is the past, let this go and focus on how she behaves while she's with you.
- Anonymous5 years ago
You should break up and not get involved with another girl until you are mature enough to be in a relationship.
Your childish reaction to what your girlfriend did is exactly the reason she didn't tell you about it earlier.
Asking about people's past is just asking for trouble. We do some of the things we do for the adventure of it.
- AmzLv 75 years ago
Based on her description of events, you think that she's not telling you the whole story? Then you should dump her. Why be with a liar?
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- Anonymous5 years ago
Don't bother by asking about the past because it might shock you. When I learned about my ex's past I have realized that I was fooled by a *** dumpster for two years. She was a who*e who sleeps all over the place and wanted to fool me to marry her.
- Shih TzuLv 75 years ago
Actually, it's none of your business. You sound like you are checking a horses teeth before you buy it.
- 5 years ago
She will probably lie anyways so dont bother.