Is there any online free counseling chat for sexless marriage?

My husband and I have only been married four years and together six but we have very little to no sex life at all. The little we do have is because I complain so much he finally gives in and you can image how that turns out. I'm only 46 and starting to consider looking outside the marriage. I am tired of feeling unwanted and in need all the time.

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  • 7 years ago
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    Why do you think that some free online chat will get your husband going? It really sounds as though you are doing all the right things. Your husband, as you say elsewhere, just seems to be "appeasing you" with words and "doesn't try at all." So that's the problem.

    I'm 60 and my wife is two years older still and we have sex once or twice a day. We have two businesses we operate together that requires a lot of effort from us every day. We operate a small farm, as well. I work on our house and am in the process of personally building two new structures on the property, as well. Our grandchildren are here at least 50% of the time, as well. My wife has debilitating anxiety problems and clinical depression. And with all that, we have no problems arranging time for sex as well every single day.

    So it's not about being tired. And depression can be overcome, for sure. (I do worry about the effects of drugs, but since you say your husband isn't trying I'm not sure I'd assign any problems to drugs just yet.) It really sounds like his lack of trying is the issue. If you can't get that worked out with him, then you really need to have a discussion about a solution that works for you. If that means "training" some 20-something boy to be a decent partner for a later wife... well... it wouldn't be the first time I've heard of it happening with permission of a husband.

    I can't tell from your writing if you have really had a serious, "explore all the possibilities and nail down a few approaches to test and evaluate," discussion with your husband. By this, I mean one where he is seriously engaged and realizes that the discussion is a serious one with serious consequences and he needs to take it seriously. But if you haven't, then have it out with him. You really need to make sure that he realizes the seriousness and the risks.

    Personally, I think it is important to find compromises together. And I think this means he needs to really try and work with you -- you should see that effort in abundance. That's the real solution. His working at it with you and taking your points seriously. But if you can't get there with him, then you need to face him with some other kinds of compromises and see where that goes. It's not fair that he entirely gets his way with things and that he won't compromise at all.

    And I'm still baffled by your thoughts about some free online chat here.

  • 7 years ago

    I stopped complaining a couple years ago in hopes that would change things. It didn't. Yes I've always had a very high sex drive. It went from that to this and it's not good. He works a lot and I've tried to get him to back off and slow down but it is something he has in him to do. He has talked to his doctor so he tells me. He's gone on depression meds to try and fix it but nothing. I am going to seek a professional counselor but I know he wont be happy about it. He is always calling me to make sure where I am if I'm not with him. He holds my hand and kisses me in public, tells me he loves me but sex is just not there. He is fifty.

  • I can understand why you would want to go outside the marriage to get what you want. I agree with most of what others have said. Try and get him to see a doctor and do all you can to see if he is willing to help himself. If he refuses to help himself you have to really think about going outside the marriage. If you do and he catches you there is a chance he will divorce you.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    it is wrong for you to consider an outside your marriage solution that only involves only one of you for whatever reason your problem is a shared one therefor your solution must be shared as well

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  • 7 years ago

    Talk to him about it.

    And you are 46.. You still have sex drive? ..good for you

  • 7 years ago

    Have you not tried talking to him about it? sounds cliche I know but surely he wants it to? or is there something you both can do? I would hate to be married and not have sex!

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Sounds to me like you should listen to your instincts.

  • 7 years ago

    What? something sound wrong for sure, my god I try twice a day.

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