Am I a bad person?
I told my friend I was Gay. Everything was fine for at least a month but it started getting awkward because he made out every now and then that something really irritated him that I did. One day he made me feel really bad about myself trying to figure out ways to make me look like a bad person and make it look like I made him fall out with me so that he could stop talking to me. He was the leader of the group and made sure that everyone else fell out with me.
I hanged around with different people at school and most of them left at the end of the school year and me and my friend who was left joined a new group of guys. I never see them out of school and my mum always complains because i'm always at home and she wonders why I have no friends.
She always claims that I'm a loner because I never leave the house and sit on my computer. (But this makes me feel sad because i'm not a bad person and she makes me upset and frustrated) and I think she knows that it annoys me.
She knows i'm gay but thinks it's a phase.
I don't want to get to know my new friends at school because they barely know me and seem to be homophobic. They don't know i'm gay. They talk about (cars, girls, boobs and stuff guys talk about that bores me). So I have no interest in hanging around with them.
I want to wait until college to make new friends and then tell them i'm gay but it starts in September.
I wanted my mums support but I never got it. I think she hates me? Is it my fault?
- Aoh OahLv 66 years agoFavorite Answer
No its not ur fault. And ur mom doesn't hate u. She just doesn't understand u. Talk to her and tell her how u feel. That's the only way she all get to understand u better.. it will take her time.. but the more time passes the more she all realize that it doesn't matter that u r gay. Parents don't really expect their kids to be gay...give her time
FCK that loser of a friend of urs he's not worth ur time. He s not a friend he never was. Friends r always there for each other. They don't judge for something as insignificant as ur sexual orientation.
My advise... try to make friends...u don't have to come out and tel people ur sexuality if u r not ready to tell them. If cars and girls and boobs don't interest u.. try finding other things to talk about with ur friends or make new friends who don't always talk about such things...
Gay guys often get along with girls.. maybe u might wanna consider making some girl friends... they probably won't be talking about that.
- 6 years ago
You probably should have waited outing your self till college but so be it. Part of coming out is finding who your friends are. This person turned out not to be a friend. It happens. You have to move on. You can't curl up and hibernate. You have to stop with the self pity and move on. Maybe this person is secretly gay too and is trying to protect himself by being homophobic, maybe he has religious nutcases for parents or maybe he just doesn't understand. But you have to move on.
No one is going to walk up to you and hand you a social calender - be it high school - college - or being on your own and paying your own bills. You have to make your own fun. Sitting at home isn't going to solve your problems.
You need to get out and meet people. Join gay youth groups. Do you have a gay community center anywhere near you? They often run them. Even if you can only get there once a month - you need to interact with your peers. Join a gay friendly church. Volunteer in your community. Help out at the soup kitchen or what ever charity tickles your fancy. Join a school club or sport. Join a few of them. This will give you instant aquiantences. Later they might become friends. It is very hard to just walk up and meet people. Just by joining some clubs and volunteering you can save a lot of those awkward steps.
Go on the pflag.org site. Get your mum on it. See if that will help her understand. Is there a pflag chapter near you that you can join? Really try and get her to go. But if she just won't - don't push it.
Your mum is right and wrong. She doesn't understand what being gay is. You are going to have to teach her. If you won't give her the time and patience - who will? Its OK if it takes her a few years to come around. That is how your mum is wrong. But your mum is right in that you can't curl up and wallow in self pity. It hurts, but it will make you stronger. You have to find other outlets. There are caring people and groups for the lgbt - probably sitting right under your nose. You have to go find them.
Also - get good grades. Your home town might very well suck - but if you have bad grades how are you going to get in any kind of a good university? And you want to pick a nice big gay friendly one with a huge gay straight alliance near a city with a big gay population. But you are going to have to work to get in a place like that.
Stop thinking short term. Think long term.
- 6 years ago